Destroying the One Who Loves You

Chad and I have been together for almost nine years and there have been plenty of ups and downs.

Neither of us are perfect we have both made mistakes and managed to work through them. Until recently!

Chad got an assault case that was a felony in our state, he was given ten years probation and has to take a bunch of classes. This charge was because my daughter lied on Chad when we set rules and when she was caught sneaking out to be with her boyfriend, doing drugs and having unprotected sex, we took her cell phone and grounded her.

We thought that would make her straighten up, boy were we wrong. She got another phone and called my mother and told her that Chad had hit her and pushed her down and all hell broke loose. We had CPS all in our business and Chad and I and my daughter could no longer be in the same house. Chad went to jail and it cost a lot of money to get him out and then my daughter kept lying and he ended back up in jail.

My daughter and I met with the district attorney here and she told them how she lied on Chad and that she was mad and that he really didn't do anything it was the guy she was dating when she refused to sneak him in at our house for sex and he kicked her in the ribs while kicking her out of his car close to our house.

That is when I found out that she had another phone and that she had been lying about talking to my mom and her little boyfriend. When I told the attorney that we hired he said that he would use that in court to get Chad out of trouble along with the statement that my daughter and I gave to the DA, he also said not to say anything else over the phone to Chad about the case because all the conversations are recorded and that the DA could use them against Chad. The attorney didn't use the information to help Chad. Chad refused to talk about it for a long time and then it wasn't really a conversation.

Chad worked with a girl who kept coming onto him and he would come home and tell me about it and tell me not to worry he wasn't interested in her in anyway. One night after he decided he was going to a friends house and he was already home and asleep, I get these messages from the girl that was coming on to him that informed me she was sleeping with Chad everyday after work. When I confronted him about it he told me it wasn't true that she was just a drunk and tended to do crap like this. I loved him enough to believe him and trust him. I asked him to unfriend her on facebook and to not have anything else to do with her, since he no longer worked at the same job as her, he had quit and gotten another job, somewhere else. I found out he was still calling her and texting her and she was the friend he was going to see and it caused a lot of issues with us. He kept saying we are just friends and that all they did was talk about her going through a divorce and a custody battle because she got caught drinking and driving with her kids in the car. I told him he needed to quit talking to her because she was up to no good and was gonna get him into more trouble. We got into an argument and he ran to her and he slept with her and now she is pregnant supposedly with his child, and she is one of those females who gets drunk and sleeps around with anyone and everyone. When Chad finally told me two weeks ago today, he said that she was about six weeks along and then he made the comment that she was having morning sickness and when I confronted him about that and the fact that I was telling him that she was further along than he claimed she was if she was having morning sickness and he said he didn't know because he is thirty eight and has never had any kids. Well he through me out with no place to go and no money, so that she could stay at our house and he could keep an eye on her since she likes to drink so much, and he told me that he wanted to try and make it work with her for the sake of his child, and he isn't a 100 percent sure he is the dad, he is going by what she is saying. Chad messaged me, that he saw a sonogram of his child yesterday, and I told him that I knew for sure that he had been lying to me about how far along she was and he admitted to being wrong about the time it happened and I told him that he said he slept with her the night we had the argument and I informed him that it was only four and a half weeks ago when the argument happened and I knew for sure then that he was lying to me, either that or she was lying to him about him actually being the dad. I have never been unfaithful to Chad, no matter how much we argued or for any other reason, to me what we had wasn't worth loosing.

Chad chose to destroy nine years with his decision and he thinks it is okay to do so. He doesn't care that he has destroyed me mentally or emotionally and he thinks okay. He doesn't think that what he did is wrong and he thinks its okay to do people the way he did me and there isn't any consequences for him actions.

I am trying to do what is best for me and my dog Maverick, but it is hard with everything being fresh and the fact that he will text me and he tells me that he still loves me and that this was not intentional and that he didn't mean for me to get hurt. I haven't figured out how to let go just yet because my heart wont let me yet.