Dirty

I wasn’t raised a Christian. I was raised to consider God as that guy who created the fun for us to have, and that’s it. My parents didn’t teach me about sin, conviction, or boundaries but to do what made me happiest!

As our home became a party house, I wanted nothing to do with that idea or any other thought that probably provoked unacceptable behavior.

From parties nearly every night, to the perverted and drunk strangers called “our guests” to sexual abuse and drunkenness, my mind closed this way of life out. I ruled it “what not to do.” So I ran to the church. I thought I could discover more peace and honesty, more level headed and pure actions and behaviors. I thought I’d witness and learn an expression of love much simpler and healthy than that love expressed to me at my father’s hand and my Mom’s neglect to nurture.

I did experience much of that! Along with it, in hindsight, I also saw a structure in many churches that encouraged me to call some of these churches “The Church of the 20 Commandments.” The rules, the expectations, the people to avoid and the people to keep... it was black and white but we live in a world that is grey.

If you have a strong belief about any one thing, I appreciate your passion and the fact that you’ve found some foundation to plant your feet on. This is exciting for you! It instills peace and offers you direction! It is so great for you!

For you, it is so great. Perhaps not for another. I have been observing responses from my Christian friends. Their response to the men and women with the microphone and sermon to preach, their reactions to just hearing about a different way of life than theirs and it’s made me sad.

The people with the microphone hadn’t even finished their sentence and surrounding people are already praising this thought or word. In this case, the line wasn’t predictable... people just accepted it as truth straight away. Here is my truth for you to chew on...

When you pray for someone, what are your thoughts? Do you wish this situation or person to change so that they can have freedom? What does this freedom look like? Does it resemble how you’re living your life? Does it resemble the true definition of the word “freedom” or your idea of the word? Does this person really need to be freed from their idea or situation? Why? Does it make you more comfortable to think of this person being just like you? Where is your heart when you’re praying for change?

That matters. I believe that highlights your heart posture and answering these questions honestly might draw you closer to the true expression of unconditional love.

Right now, love is very much conditional and people aren’t challenging themselves to pursue this kind of love because it isn’t popular, it isn’t comfortable, the cost is too large, or it doesn’t fit the bullet points you have been told to live by.

I hope we would be able to come to a place where we are not codependent on our clubs or churches, friends or leaders and their teachings or opinions. Without them, what do you believe and how will you love people? If the underlining is still “I pray this person would be just like me,” then you need to re-evaluate what kind of love you’re able to offer. It might not be so unconditional; after all, that’s the goal. To love well, to forgive, not to boast, to have hope and not worry or fear.

What love are you expressing?