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Diving For Hearts

It's hard to let go, even when you want to.

Everyone walks away from someone eventually.

When it comes to people who have made minimal impact to you in your life, even extended periods of time spent together can't make you want to keep in touch or make you reach out to them. You're more than content to let them go on about their lives without ever knowing if you're even still alive.

More often than not, many of us practice this to some degree a staggering number of times, and more often by convenience than by choice. Consider this: of all the people you have encountered in your lifetime, how many have you made the choice to talk to? Now, how many of those people do you still talk to? Maybe you meant well, but it was just more convenient to go your way and let them go theirs. No hard feelings.

Some people don’t really appreciate it though, normally if they made some semblance of an attempt to keep you in their inner circle. To let them go their way is to leave them behind on yours. The soreness of this occurrence varies from person to person, but its lingering nature varies just as much.

It's the established relationships that burn the most, the ones where you have intertwined a part of your lives together, but they unravel somewhere and the relationship falls apart. It could be by design or complete accident; it could be one-sided or mutual… An irreconcilable disagreement, a falsehood brought to light, divergent goals, desynchronization of hearts and minds… It goes and goes.

The event is difficult enough, but depending on who you ask, the wake of it is much worse.

Maybe you never thought the conversation would truly end — you send a message or tag them in something (for those social media socialites), hopeful of a blossoming dialogue… Only to be met with silence. 

The needle in your pride is why you feel the sting in your heart and eyes. Maybe they're busy, or sleeping, you rationalize. But after Day 5 and hopefully before Day 15, you realize that the seed of the blossoming conversation you tried to plant was dead the moment you asked if they were there (or didn't). It never even had a chance to wilt.

God forbid you felt lonely before this because you might as well be the walking dead at this point, right? Food loses flavor, colors are more dull, and life becomes nothing more than a series of setbacks and mishaps.

It's frighteningly easy to get stuck here, and just as frightening at how hard it is to pull yourself out of it.

For instances like these, it won't fix itself overnight.

The best, and only, advice I can offer is to let go.

If they are meant to be in your life, they will be. If not, they will see themselves out. If you don't fight for them, that is.

The long and short of it is that we will all have to leave someone eventually.

It is completely ok to feel the way you do about it, however that might be, but remember: you've always been instinctively good at it.

*Title inspired by the song by Corrine Bailey Rae*

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Diving For Hearts
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