Do We Know Each Other?

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed a few nights ago when the suggested friends post came into view. Most of the time, they were the same people. Friends of friends or people that lived in the same town as me. Normally, I just ignored it. If they weren't on my friend list now, then there was probably a reason for it. This time, I saw the name of a girl I used to be really good friends with in high school. I was a bit surprised because I could have sworn we were still friends on Facebook. So, I didn't think anything of it when I clicked the little add friend button. I went on with my night and forgot about it until today.

Some of my memories from seven years ago came in on my notifications and that same girl was tagged in some old pictures. It reminded me that I didn't see a notification that she had accepted my friend request yet. I'll admit, I was a little bit curious as to why not. I did a quick search of her name and clicked on her profile. Here's where things got awkward. Not only had she denied my add request, but she also chose to withdraw the option for me to request her again. That hurt. It hurt my pride more than anything, but we'll pretend I wasn't being egotistical for a second.

Granted, it had been years since we had really talked to each other, but I didn't think that warranted a partial block on social media sites. I guess it isn't too unexpected, though. It wasn't like I had her phone number or really had anything to do with her anymore. That's when I started thinking about the fact that it might have something to do with who I used to be and not who I am now.

This is going to get a little personal and a possibly a little provocative, but nothing too bad that I feel ashamed about sharing. I graduated high school in 2012. A lot has changed for me since then. Throughout my four years of high school, I did some things that probably weren't the best idea. A list of things would easily include:

• Almost hooking up with a guy that my friend was interested in.
• Making moves on most of my female friends.
• Attempting to date women, while also dating my boyfriends at the time.
• Cheating on my first actual girlfriend and then writing her a long letter about why I didn't want to date just her and how I "justified" my actions.
• Trying to woo a girl in my class that had clearly told me how uninterested she was in me multiple times, but I didn't stop trying.

Basically, I was a pretty shitty person when I was a teenager. After actually realizing all the horrible things I did when I was in school, I can understand why someone wouldn't want to be reacquainted with me. That brings me to my main question. At what point do people stop seeing who you used to be and open their eyes to who you have become?

In the past five or so years, I've stayed in a serious relationship with my current girlfriend. I've held a few short-term jobs, raised three dogs and one cat, never gotten any kind of ticket, never been to jail, and transitioned, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally into a completely different person. Does that mean I should be forgiven for all the things I've done in the past and forgiven by the people I've wronged? No, not at all. One of my ex-girlfriends still won't talk to me at all because of how toxic I was during our relationship. That's something that I can't ever take back and all of her relationships since then, I hope, have been in a completely different category of positivity and happiness.

I'm sure there are things that everyone wishes they could take back from when they were younger. If you were an all-star basketball player in high school, unless you ended up joining a college team or got drafted to the NBA, making a three-pointer isn't going to help you in life. Things change. People change.

Despite the terrible person I was (or others like me were) then, I grew. Is that enough of a reason for me to be reevaluated as a person in general? Maybe or maybe not, but it could be a start, right?