“Do You Want Your Chicken Fingers?”

Back in middle school, I had a little crush on a guy... I’ll call him Jake.

You see, Jake didn’t like me. However, Jake had a twin brother, I’ll call him John, and John liked me.

Both brothers played football for our middle school and both needed a date for the football banquet. I desperately wanted to be Jake’s date while John wanted me to be his date, much to my distress.

Jake definitely wasn’t going to ask me to be his date; in fact, Jake asked this girl, who I actually really hated at the time, to be his date. Now, John for sure thought I would be his date.

Luckily for me, a mutual friend of all of ours asked me to be his date. I didn’t think much of it. Me and the guy had been friends for a long time. We basically grew up in church together so I didn’t think twice about saying yes because I knew it wasn’t going to be weird or awkward. (Big mistake.)

After realizing I had a date, John turned to my bestfriend, I’ll call her Kate, and asked her to be his date, to which she said yes.

You can already see where this is going probably and how messy and idiotic middle school was for me, unfortunately.

Fast forward to the night of the banquet. My date picks me up; I’ll call him Dan. After picking me up, we take a few pictures with our friends, I’ll call them Jane and Luke. Jane and Luke were dating, so it was a given they would go to the banquet together.

We finally get to the banquet. The food is TERRIBLE. They served green beans, mashed potatoes, and chicken fingers. The chicken fingers were AWFUL. For most of dinner, everyone was talking about how bad they were.

Halfway through the football presentation they play after the dinner, my date, Dan, leans in towards me. I was kinda confused and also focused on the presentation that I didn’t really lean back towards him myself. And that’s when he said it.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

Immediately, my eyes shot across the table to the guy in front of us, I’ll call him Chris. Chris had seen and heard it all as Dan was not the best at whispering, so he too was waiting for my response back.

What I did next, I am not proud of.

I turned around quickly to face Dan. And I almost too loudly asked, “Do you want your chicken fingers?” whilst looking and pointing at his tray that still had all of the chicken fingers left on it.

Dan simply said, “Um, no... You can have them I guess...” I quickly looked back over at Chris. He knew I only pretended to not hear Dan and that I truly hated the chicken fingers they served us. Something about the look on his face told me that if I didn’t put on a show and at least try to eat the chicken fingers from Dan that Chris would expose me and I would be mortified.

Begrudgingly, I began to eat the chicken fingers. They were already unsatisfying when they were first served, but after cooling off for about 30 minutes, they were a lot worse. Still, I forced them down and tried to appear like I was enjoying them. I know that Chris was aware that I did not, but I think forcing myself to consume them satisfied him in a weird way, so he said nothing and never brought it to Dan’s attention, even though they were friends.

Soon, the presentation was over and the tables were put away to allow the floor to become an open space for dancing. Although I hate dancing, I was relieved because I knew I wouldn’t be trapped beside Dan and across from Chris.

My relief would soon dissipate as more middle school chaos was coming my way.

Dan and I caught up with Jake and his date, John and Kate, and Luke and Jane as well. All seemed well because we were all pretty much friends, with a few exceptions of some people only being slightly acquainted with others. We all were talking when suddenly Jane pulled me aside.

Jane told me that she no longer had feelings for Luke, which surprised me, but I understood. What she said next though, I was not prepared for. She told me that she had feelings for DAN. The Dan I was on a date with!!! I was shocked, but encouraged her to break things off with Luke in order to pursue something with Dan. I quickly explained I didn’t have any feeling for him and conveniently left out the part where he asked me to be his girlfriend earlier.

I thought that would be the end of it.

I was wrong.

Soon after, Jake’s date left him to chat up some other guy, which upset him some. I saw this as as opportunity to talk to him and spend time with him. I approached him when suddenly Luke cut me off midway.

Luke explained to me that Jane and him were having problems, which obviously I was already aware of since Jane had pulled me aside. What he said next almost floored me. Luke looked me in the eyes and simply said, “Jane and I aren’t working out, but I think I like you.”

I didn’t know what to say so I quickly turned around and asked, “Where’s Kate?” Kate was my best friend and I knew she would make me feel better.

I found Kate in the restroom, looking frustrated. I asked Kate what was wrong and she confessed to me that he had feelings for John... although she knew John had feelings for me.

I felt like I was going crazy. Three boys admitting to me they have feelings for me and none of them were the one I wanted to have feelings for me. Tragic.

I then turned around and explained my situation to her at which she began to laugh uncontrollably. It was then that I saw she would be no help.

I went back outside to find Dan and tell him that I wanted to go home. I finally found him, of course, with John of all people. Upon walking up to them, immediate tension was made present.

John complimented me on my dress to which Dan began to compliment my hair. It was uncomfortable. I wanted it to stop, so I blurted out, “I wanna go home.” Both of them were stunned for a moment before Dan said, “Uh, okay. Let me call my dad.” (UGH the awkward middle school age where you wanna date but you can’t drive... *Cringe*)

Dan’s dad finally picked us up and drove me home. The whole time, Dan had his arm uncomfortably over my shoulder. I was literally dying on the inside, or at least felt like it.

We finally got home when the worst happened. Dan got out with me and walked me to my door. Once we made it to the porch, I simply wanted to dive inside ASAP. Then Dan began to LEAN IN.

I hate to say it, but I panicked. I really panicked.

My family always locks the front door, but I was desperately hoping this would be the one time it wasn’t.

Luckily for me, it was. I turned the door knob just before Dan reached me and basically yelled out, “GOODNIGHT, SEE YOU MONDAY!” and I slammed the door and sank down to the floor.

I finally felt relieved and safe. My dad was in the living room when I slammed the door and asked if I was alright. He asked if I needed some medicine and not wanting to talk about my night, I just said yes, took what he offered me (Tylenol), and just went to bed.

I hate middle school.