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Relationships are hard to get through, and to make sure you're giving what is needed for it to thrive. Sometimes it works, and other times it doesn’t. I’ve talked in other pieces of mine about how to make it work, what is needed of each other, and packing up your lessons and moving on if it isn’t working.
In this one, I am going to talk about being single and loving yourself. There are some views on being single as negative, and that you should be with someone. It is my opinion being single can really help a person reach a deeper level of self-love, and possibly reach a new approach for the next relationship. After being with someone for so long it can take a lot out of you, and change you emotionally and physically. Your perception of things will be altered.
For myself, I am growing more as an individual, and as a mom after the dissolution of my relationship. That’s not to say I couldn’t grow while being in the relationship. Once you gain a sense of freedom, and you're on your own, then anything becomes possible. You become in control of you. Well, for the most part, you should have been in control of you throughout the relationship, but I know for some people that’s not the case.
For me, I took time to soak everything in, and tried to figure out what was next. That’s so important; to reflect on everything, to take a step back, and re-evaluate everything to see where you've been, and where you want to go. Just because you spent years with someone, and you're older now, or that you feel that you missed out, shouldn’t determine where you are going, or what you still want to do. You are in control of your life, so you should own that, and never limit yourself, or allow anyone or anything to limit you.
You may be newly single, or have been single for a while, and that’s perfectly okay. After you get out of a relationship for whatever reason, what holds true was that it wasn’t meant to be. What’s meant to be will work out one way or another. After it’s over, you should value yourself enough to raise the bar, and say the next person isn’t going to mess up what I have. The next person will only be granted access if he or she can add value to my life. I’m telling you right now, no matter who you are, you are amazing, beautiful, and worth so much. Another person should not come into your life if they are toxic, negative, or want to be a hurricane to mess everything up for you.
Love being single, love being you, and don’t think so much on it. Take care of your mind, body, and soul. Join the gym, get into yoga, hang out with friends, start a new hobby, visit family, and do things you’ve always wanted to do. Age has nothing to do with it, you're not too old to keep living life. It is entirely on you if you choose to not do anything because of negative thoughts, if you have chosen to stay stuck, or surround your self with people who will bring you down, that do not support you and love you. You are in control of you and your life. When the time comes for another relationship, or your first relationship, then you’ll be ready. You’ve taken the time while single to prepare for the next steps of life. Stay busy loving life, and being the best version of you. Happiness will creep in when least expected.
Keep being amazing, and someone will take notice. Someone will come along wanting to add value to your life, and love you for you. Don’t ever beg for someone to be around you, or in your life, because if they can’t do that on their own then they are missing out. Remind yourself of your worth, and never settle.
Being single is beautiful, strong, and the most courageous thing a person can do. Relationships are beautiful with the right person, so take your time. If you're considering ending a relationship then there is a reason. If you have tried everything to make it work and vice versa then it’s not meant to be. Don’t be stuck and unhappy in a relationship, because you're afraid to be alone. Don’t let being afraid tie you down, you are worth happiness. So go on, live your best life. Trust me when I say you have got this.