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On Friday night I went on a first date with a fella I met on an online dating app. We had chatted for a short period before he asked if I'd like to go out with him that evening. He wasn't cute, but he wasn't ugly either, so I figured why not?
He told me he did not like to make plans so whatever I wanted to do would be fine. I chose a restaurant local to me but about 50 minutes from his home. We agreed to meet at 8 PM.
I arrived to the restaurant first and sent him a text informing him that I would be waiting for him buy the bar. He responded he was having a hard time finding parking but that he was in the vicinity. I ordered a glass of wine while I waited on him.
When he arrived, I noticed that he was shorter than what he placed on his profile. I expected him to be 5'10"—he was more like 5'8". I would have swiped left had I known that. It's ok, you can call me picky or whatever name you like because short guys just aren't my preference.
He ordered himself a drink and also ordered one for me. We begin talking and he's a bit awkward. Not in the shy, I'm not sure what to say to a stranger sort of way. But more in the obnoxious, I use my ego to make up for my height way. You know, Napolean complex-y (yes I just made up that word. I was annoyed but I figured maybe if I lead the conversation it could get better.
I noticed that football was playing on the television at the bar so I commented that I didn't know it was time for football already. He informs me that it was the preseason and then asked me if I watched football. I told him not anymore but that I used to.
He then gives me a perplexed look and asks, "Why, because of Kaepernick?"
I reply, "Yes, Kaep, Eric Reid, Black Lives Matter."
He immediately shuts me down and says, "All lives matter and if you think differently you're a racist."
"Well, ok. This date is officially over," I proclaimed. He continues on a diatribe about all lives mattering and then says, "you're not from this country are you."
I reply that I am not.
He then says, "that explains it," finishes his drink, pays, and leaves.
I was thankful he left because it allowed me to continue enjoying the establishment I had chosen. I went on to order food, drinks, and make new associates with the folks who were at the bar enjoying their Friday night.
Some folks may have continued the date and then ghosted him later. That's not my modus operandi. I believe in being honest and not wasting my time or his money.
While he was short an awkward, those traits could have been overlooked had he had a better personality and didn't rudely call me a racist. That red flag was enough for me to bow out of the date immediately and I have no regrets.
Have you ever ended a date early because of something your companion said or did?
Written by Dena Reid, Esq. Founder of Code Red Flag. Find more of her work at www.coderedflag.com.