Engaged in College With Some Doubt

It was supposed to be a normal day with a normal date at the beach in May. I had slept in (the night before I had volunteered to help at my church’s lock-in for the youth group so I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep until 7 a.m. that morning). Little did I know that my life was about to change. That was the day I got engaged to my boyfriend of four and a half years. I was so excited! The first people I told were my sorority sisters (because in those days I was a college cliche). Congratulations poured in from friends and family on Facebook. About two hours later, we arrived at my parent’s house. My mom and grandma hugged me and congratulated me. My dad said “I’ll congratulate you on your 20th anniversary.” Things were great. Then, a couple weeks later, I began to realize that things were beginning to sour around me.

I wasn’t getting the support from certain people that I was hoping to. I began to feel doubts. These doubts were not related to the love I had for my fiancé in the least bit. They were from people asking me if it was really an appropriate time to get married since we were both in college. I hated feeling this way. I had my parents tell me that I should wait, a friend call me stupid, and a church pastor (not the pastor from my church but from a church we were visiting) look so disappointed when he asked me to introduce my fiancé to the congregation and did so as “Josh, my fiancé,” (although that third example actually doesn’t really pertain to someone important in my life I guess). I understood where they were coming from I guess since “getting married” is usually started with “not” and then proceeded by “until after college.” It didn’t hurt any less that these important people in my life were causing my doubts. I began to write off my engagement as being for “tax purposes with the perk of being in love,” since I was in college but only because I felt that being in love was not enough of a reason for people to believe that I was getting married at this point in my life and be okay with it, even though that was the true reason.

As time went on, they started to become more supportive of the marriage. However, I still held onto that anger. I held onto it up until I walked up to that alter. I realized that whether I had an easy road to the alter or not (because let me tell you there was a lot more drama, stories for another day) I was not any more or any less married. I was at the alter marrying my best friend and that’s all that mattered to me. So if you’re reading this, all I ask is that if you take anything away from my story it’s that you remember that no matter how the path goes, don’t forget that as long as you know that you are truly in love and ready to dedicate your life to this person (for forever, like FOREVER FOREVER) you shouldn’t let the negative create doubts and get to you and stop you from your happily ever after.

Side note: I love my parents and friend to death and hold no anger towards them. I know where they were coming from. They are all great people who were just looking out for me.