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As a child, I always had plenty of friends growing up. Looking back at those I crossed paths with helped me get to where I am at now in my life and who I let into my friendship circle. As a child, those that I thought to be a friend either broke or stole my toys and items of clothing. Like, seriously a pair of my black jeans just up and walked out of my house one day along with a friend that I had a sleepover with. As a teenager, there were the friends that talked about me behind my back and tried to steal my boyfriend. Thanks to my mom she taught me how to deal with a person like that. In my young adult years, the beast reared its ugly head with one friend that told me she never liked me in the first place. Please... Tell me how you really feel about me...geez! Believe me, she did not hold back. That hurt the most after so many years of her pretending to be my best friend, but the signs were there. I chose to ignore them. Now that I am older I have often thought of what type of friends I want in my new circle after emptying the old ones out.
First, I knew I had to begin with myself & ask what type of a friend I am to start with. I had to learned to become my own best friend, listen to my own intuitions, learned to say no, and be honest with myself at all times. Recognizing why I was feeling the way I did with a certain friend helped me to start being more vocal about my feelings and if that person didn't take how I was feeling into consideration, she was not a friend. But with any relationship, it is always a two-way street. As they say, treat others the way you want to be treated and treat yourself the way you would anyone else. Lessons learned, I had to start valuing myself and what I wanted out of a friendship. I had to clean house, let go of those that didn't value my friendship as much as I did theirs. When it came time to let go it was easier for them than it was for me. That's when I knew that they didn't care about losing me as a friend. Once I realized that, it then became easier for me to move forward. First, I want a friend/friends that are emotionally mature, that know how to have good clean fun, know how to have fun, and have respect for themselves as well as for me. A friend that has dreams and aspirations, that are career/goal driven and motivated with positive energy. That is inspired to continue to grow and change for the better no matter what. Because I had to start working on myself and start living with what I call a positive lifestyle. Am I perfect? No and it's perfectly fine if my friends have flaws as well, but are aware of those flaws and want to fix them. I also learned to put everyone in their perspective categories. If someone is an associate, an acquaintance, social friend or a friend. Now though many disappointing friendships encounters I can honestly say that I know who my real friends are. The points are to find friends that you guys can cherish each other, trust, grow with and create so many fun and awesome memories with.