Exes and Oh's: Part 20

SERENA

"Michael?" I called for him as I exited the hotel bathroom, holding onto my stomach from the nausea that had been plaguing me all week. I felt a fever coming on and felt like we should go back to Pasadena until this flu passed but he was nowhere in sight as I looked through the spacious living area of the condo. Casa Del Mar was a beautiful retreat and I would've taken advantage of this mini-vacation if the weather looked like it would cooperate. I could see the clouds clustering together in the sky from the floor to ceiling windows, as the thunder crackled and the rain began to fall.

When I heard the door open, I turned to who should've been Michael. Instead, I met with Daniel's careful gaze as he closed the door and raised his eyebrows in concern.

"Where's Michael?" was all I asked, because I had no energy to even begin to think of what the hell was going on here.

"You don't look so good. Why don't you sit down?" he offered but I glared, standing my ground as my body began to shudder in anger.

"Where the hell is Michael?!" I started, the yelling erupting from my throat as I reached for my phone and cursed when I saw it was dead.

"Probably heading back to Pasadena. There's a storm coming and they've asked everyone to stay inside until it passes. Now will you sit down before you pass out?" he explained firmly and while I wanted to defy his command, my head was spinning and my knees were close to giving out. Daniel caught me before I hit the ground and carried me over to the bed. I pushed him away as soon as my body hit the soft white cotton fabric of the bedsheets and he sighed, walking straight into the small kitchen near the bathroom, filling up a small pot with some water.

I wanted to tell him to get the hell out of the condo. I wanted to tell him he was an idiot for coming here. I wanted to tell him he still made me sick to my stomach from caring so much about him. In the end, I kept my words inside and waited for the storm to pass.

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My body quivered as the fever subsided a few hours later and I woke up to the scent of chamomile tea with honey and cinnamon. The room was dimly lit, the television on a low volume in the background and I looked over towards the windows to see a sleeping Daniel, a blanket covering his body as he sat slumped into the chair. I half expected him to be sleeping beside me since the man had no sense of boundaries, but I was relieved that he decided otherwise.

I sat up until my feet hit the carpet and I made my way towards the kitchen for some of that tea. Once I poured some into a mug, I took a sip and felt the soothing liquid settle my upset stomach. Taking one last glance at Daniel before I headed into the bathroom for a shower, I shook my head and cursed underneath my breath while I grabbed my toiletries from my suitcase.

My frenzied thoughts lowered to a simmer once the warm water hit my skin in the shower. I washed off the day's stress and worries right along with the lavender scented hotel soap I had rubbed all over my body. I would've stayed in there a while longer if my hands weren't turning into prunes.

Slipping into my comfortable hotel robe, I began to do my facial routine and continued to tame my damp curls and wondered if I could stay in this spa bathroom until Daniel decided to leave. There were charger plug-ins for my laptop in the walls and I could catch up on some answering some work-related emails.

I was completely satisfied with that plan until I opened the bathroom door to find my estranged husband standing in the doorway. His gaze slipped down towards my opened robe momentarily before he tied it closed and met my eyes again. The old Daniel would've stripped me of this robe and hoisted me up against the bathroom vanity. The old me would've let him. Granted we've already had sex twice and would've continued to add to our list of mistakes, but somewhere during the past few weeks of rekindling a fire that never quite burned out, we realized sex only clouded our judgment. Now, we simply stood here, in each other's space, no yelling, no throwing hurtful words at each other, only wondering what was supposed to come next.

"Feeling better?" he asked and I nodded as he stepped aside to let me into the room. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes when my heart swelled as I caught his scent on my way towards the bed. He was wearing the cologne I gave him for our third anniversary and now I regretted not asking the clerk at the front desk for a different room.

"I talked to the front desk, asked for a different room but they were all booked up because of the storm. I can sleep on the floor," Daniel informed me, practically reading my mind as he began to undress, throwing his clothes on the floor, making me wish he wasn't so good in bed.

"Can't win them all," I said, shrugging as I reached into my suitcase for something to wear to bed. He smirked as he entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him, leaving me to wonder why I wanted him to keep that door open.

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He kept to himself the rest of the night, completely tuned into whatever was going on in his head while I tried to work on answering some emails and kept sending the knife emoji to Michael, hoping he knew what would happen to him the moment we got back to Pasadena. My attention kept being pulled towards Daniel while he ate his late supper that consisted of a meatball sub with some corn chips and a beer from the mini-fridge, his eyes glued to the television. My tongue was itching to ask questions I had no business asking but I couldn't hold it in much longer. If I was going to be forced to be in his company for the next month during marriage counseling, I needed to know the truth.

"So how'd you and Jesse meet?" I asked, knowing well enough I was stirring a very calm pot in the middle of a storm. He turned to look at me, rolling his eyes as he continued to eat his chips.

"We went to the same trade school together. She moved away then came back to Texas after her boyfriend died," he explained as he got up and headed towards the kitchen to wash his hands.

"That's awful," I replied, now feeling like complete shit that I treated her the way I did.

"I didn't touch her, Serena," Daniel repeated the words he had spilled in the car weeks ago and my head was telling me he was telling me the truth, but my heart had created a barrier for Daniel and his tendency to lie just to spare me from the hard truth. He dried his hands before he made his way towards his chair, avoiding my gaze.

"I've seen the way she looks at you," I mentioned, pushing to get the truth out of him. Not that I had the right to stop him from screwing whoever he wanted. I just wished deep down he didn't want to.

"Okay, looks like we're going to have this argument no matter what." He paused to turn off the television and leaned back into his chair, this time facing me before he continued, "Jesse and I will never happen. Did I want it to happen? Yes. Jesse is cool and she doesn't give me the endless amount of headaches you do. She's pretty, and smart, and funny. But I can't touch her. Or any of the other women I used to talk to," he admitted, his voice cracking with anger as his hands shook and he rubbed them against his bouncing knees. I had that effect on a lot of men. I made them uneasy and angry and it was usually entertaining. Not anymore. Not with Daniel. Damn him for being different.

"Why?" I questioned, my heart pounding even though I already knew what his next words were going to be. He laughed without any humorous undertone and sighed as he stared at me.

"Because I can live without each and every one of them. You on the other hand, you're...burned into my soul. I'd do anything to get you out but I can't. I hated you for a long time because of it. And I think that's why I pushed you away." His confession brought out that younger version of myself that had hoped to hear these words one day, and now that I have, it only made things worse. I've fallen in love with just a handful of guys in my twenty-seven years on this planet, and not one of them had left the same mark that Daniel did. I used to think it was a cruel joke from the universe, giving me something as powerful as an all-consuming kind of love. But maybe, just maybe, we only needed to learn how to use it to our advantage instead of being frightened by it.

"I can't promise we won't start fighting again tomorrow. But I at least want to try and get to know this new version of you. If that's okay," I proposed and he nodded without hesitation, taking my hand in his to place a soft kiss on the back of my hand.

"I'm perfectly fine with that. As long as I get to kiss you," he teased and tried to lean in for one, but I laughed and turned away before he could. His arms wrapped around me instead, and he kissed my temple, as I hugged him in return. He pulled away shortly after and headed back towards his sheets and pillows on the floor.

"You don't have to sleep down there."

"Yeah, I do. One more second in that bed with you and I won't make it without taking off that robe of yours," he countered, licking his lips as he shook his head at me then looked away, "Goodnight, Serena," he insisted, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Goodnight, Daniel."