Factors That Determine a Healthy and Stable Relationship

Relationships are complex, however, it doesn’t mean partners cannot enjoy their companionship or togetherness. Challenges are part and parcel of relationships since there is no perfect relationship. What matters is not whether relationships are faced with difficulties and uncertainties, but how partners react to the problems that face their relationships.

There are many factors that can help individuals ascertain whether their relationships are healthy. However, there are core factors relationships should have as they act as the major bedrock of a healthy and stable relationship.

An important point to note is that the following core factors or elements paint a clear picture of what love is all about. While there’s no universal definition of what love is, there are factors which can establish whether love exists in a relationship. The following are the core factors which determine how much a partner loves his/her other significant one, or if the love that exists in the relationship is strong enough to ensure healthiness and stability of the relationship.

1. Respect

It’s one of the most important elements in a relationship. A person cannot claim he loves his partner if he doesn’t respect his partner. In any relationship or friendship, people respect each other because they love each other. No individual wants to be friends with a person who lacks respect.

What is respect? Wikipedia defines this term as “a positive feeling or action shown towards someone or something considered important, or held in high esteem or regard; it conveys a sense of admiration for good or valuable qualities; and it is also the process of honoring someone by exhibiting care, concern, or consideration for their needs or feelings.”

How do you treat your partner? Do you treat your partner as a special person in your life? Do you hold your partner in high esteem? Do you care about your partner as both an individual with his/her wants and needs and as a companion?

Love is Respect notes, “Respect in a relationship is reflected in how you treat each other on a daily basis. Even if you disagree or have an argument (and arguments do happen, even in a healthy relationship!), you are able to respect and value each other’s opinions and feelings by “fighting fair.” Respects isn’t about controlling someone or making them do what you want them to do. Respect is actually about the freedom to be yourself and to be loved for who you are.”

2. Appreciation

Appreciation and respect go hand-in-hand. If you are an individual who always appreciates your partner, you are in reality, a person who holds your partner in high esteem. Your regard your partner as of value or worth in your life and in the relationship.

Are you grateful to have him/her in your life as a partner? Do you tell your partner how much he/she means to you? Do you do things that reflect how much you love your partner?

It doesn’t mean you always need to tell your partner how much you love your partner or are grateful to have him/her in your life. You can do small or simple acts to mirror your appreciation for your partner e.g. writing a cute note and leaving it on the table or putting it somewhere where your partner will see it.

3. Trust

Trust is another important element in a relationship. Without trust, there is no relationship. Distrust creates assumptions if what is being assumed or believed isn’t verified. A lady can assume his man sleeps with other women the reason he arrives late at home, but without verifying her assumption, she can’t be sure whether her guess is true. She has to be certain before she distrusts her partner.

Distrust will affect a partner because he/she will not have peace of mind. The never-ending stream of tormenting thoughts will never give his/her mind time to rest. If the lady’s assumption in the example above is verified, the realization will affect the woman. She might develop negative emotions such as depression or uncontrolled anger which can lead to disastrous effects.

Not many people have the patience to listen and try to understand their partner’s point-of-view without interrupting. Misunderstanding is one of the major issues that lead to relationship breakup or divorce.

In life, people want others to understand what they are saying without taking time to understand others. As an individual or partner in a relationship, you cannot offer a reasonable opinion or counterargument if you don’t take time to listen and to focus on your partner’s opinion or concern.

5. Communication

Lack of effective communication is another cause of relationship breakups or divorces. Partners are afraid to talk what is in their mind or raise an issue that bothers them or which they’ve observed is affecting their relationship. One of the major reasons they’re afraid to voice what’s in their mind is that they’re afraid how their partners might react.

The relationship isn’t one-sided. It is a partnership. A relationship cannot grow as with a business if the partners are not open about each other, if they can’t discuss things they notice is affecting their partnership (relationship) or are afraid to ask sensitive questions.

Better Health Channel states: “Good communication is an important part of all relationships and is an essential part of any healthy partnership. All relationships have ups and downs, but a healthy communication style can make it easier to deal with conflict, and build a stronger and healthier partnership.”

Furthermore, they note, “...No matter how well you know and love each other, you cannot read your partner’s mind. We need to communicate to avoid misunderstandings that may cause hurt, anger, resentment or confusion.”

6. Honesty

Honesty is an important element in a relationship. Being truthful enables partners to be open to each other, to develop trust, and makes it worthwhile or enjoyable being in the relationship.

Being honest about your thoughts pertaining to the relationship or issues facing the relationship is paramount in a relationship. One shouldn’t lock concerns he/she has pertaining to the relationship or about his/her partner. It’s through an honest talk that partners can solve matters that affect the relationship.