Fake Friends

Okay, so we've all had one of those "besties" who turned out to be the absolute worstie. Think you haven't? Think again. Unless you've had a limited amount of buddies in your lifespan who treat you like a true friend would (which is very, VERY unlikely), you've had a "Friend" who was downright phony to the core.

So we tend to wonder, "Are my pals real or naw?"

Here's a few characteristics of a faker that will answer that question:

1. They're constantly asking you for something.

Whether it's for your yummy lunch or homework help, this friend (if that's what you'd like to call them) is always needing things from you. Perhaps "favours" that make no sense or for you to look at that small figure in the distance while they run off behind you (thanks...) This often means your friend is just using you for their own personal gain (like amusement or less work effort) and has no concern for you or your emotions, whatsoever.

2. "Just joking!"

Ever hear a comment from that certain friend that is quite offensive? Like, "Ew, your shirt is ugly!" or "Get away from us! We can't talk to you!" You might address this straight up rudeness by telling the friend (or even friends) that what they said was really mean. You know more than I, the response is undoubtedly "Just joking!" Well guess what? It's not a joke unless everyone thinks it's funny. You may laugh along, but on the inside, you know what they said brought you down even the slightest bit and makes you question what you did to deserve it.

3. "No" can never be the answer.

Here's a scenario: You and Sam are sitting together while you both do your math textbook work (ughh!). As you slave away on your paper, Sam hasn't finished the first word problem and asks you if you can tell them what you got for it. Of course you say no because you do NOT need more homework, but Sam decides this is the perfect opportunity to throw a tantrum. It's usually: "Wow, so you don't care about me?" or "You're not a good friend!" Whatever it is, this is designed to make you feel guilty and compelled to assist them after all. If not, the cold shoulder is prone to come your way.

4. Randomly Stops Talking to You

You come to school one morning and flash a smile to your group of amigos as you approach your locker. The positivity is not returned and you find your friends purposefully avoiding you. Again, you wonder why they are upset and probably glance at them on several occasions, only to be brutally ignored. This is one of those petty moves that come out of nowhere and far too frequently involve one friend saying to the others that they shouldn't talk to you for whatever reason, be it that you "eat weirdly" or "wear all the wrong clothes". No matter what they come up with, it can never be reasonably explained.

5. You're up and you're down.

Katy Perry couldn’t have said it better. These friends are consistently "hot and cold" or "in and out." You could be laughing with them and hanging out one day, but then the next, you find yourself alone at lunch being laughed at, and missing their company. They can be very awesome, funny and lovable; but then they are ice cold snakes who talk trash about you left, right, and center. You never know when they're going to turn on you; and sometimes, they can cause you to turn on others. These type of "friends" are bad influences, terribly spontaneous, and definitely have loyalty issues.

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Now, could you relate to any of these? I sure could! There's always going to be those two-faced manipulators who drive you insane with the amount of gossip and ill will they produce. All of these characteristics aren't the result of you being a horrible person, so don't ever think it's your fault. These are just toxic people who creep into your life and suck out all of your energy, time, and positivity.

It bothers you to the bone, but you just don't know how to say that you want out. There are many ways of going about this, all of which include (yes, I know it's hard but...) courage. You need to stand tall, tell them that they cannot treat you this way, and get yourself out of there. You could say "I don't appreciate this," "You can't treat me this way," or simply, "I'm out." This let's them know that they have no right to be like this to you and that you aren't okay with it.

I know, I know. This is WAAAAAY easier said than done. You may be intimidated by this person or group of individuals; or maybe you've known them for so long and can't imagine being without them. But let me assure you, after a while, when you adjust to life outside that poisonous bubble; you will see you don't need them anymore and you definitely won't mind being away from that rollercoaster relationship.

But truth be told, courage doesn't come flying from the sky and straight into you. You have to really want to leave them behind and escape this cycle of an oppressive "friendship". Most importantly once you get out, don't let them sweet talk you back into their clutches. They will come inching back to you, telling you it was a misunderstanding and that they're "sorry" (sorry means they won't do it again. We ALL know they will). But don't go back, if you do, all of your courage was wasted. Instead, you can chose to let them know you have different views and it's better off this way.

After that, YOU'RE FREEEEEE! Go enjoy your life and find some good, real friends who can help you to do that too (but steer clear of the people who also have those "characteristics"). If you can relate, share this to a friend (a fake one too if you want to give them a hint). If you still think you've only ever had real friends, you're either blessed, or blind (it's usually the latter). And if you know someone who has or had this problem, do not deprive them of this very valuable information, share this with them too!

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for my next pecies.

XOXO - Legitimate