Family Isn't Always Blood

You know, sometimes you meet the most amazing people by the most random of circumstances. They stumble into your life and make you laugh, even though sometimes you still wonder why they're friends with you.

"SG said she'd show you her tits if you came over! We miss you!"

More or less, this is the first text message I received from the person that would eventually become my best friend. For a Monday night, it certainly hadn't been the weirdest thing to happen to me since starting college, but it was definitely the strangest way to start off my sophomore year.

We had all met while working as Orientation Leaders at our college, building relationships with people that would be our coworkers during the weekend where the incoming freshmen would be moving in and getting used to college life. At first we didn't really speak to each other much, other than maybe cracking a joke every now and then and having a meaningful conversation about changing my name because of my gender identity issues, but it wasn't until after an accident that left me wheelchair bound for a bit (don't go to trampoline parks, kids. You'll tear your ACL) when we really started talking to one another more and more. Mama Bird, a.k.a. SG, was the first to take me under her wing. Mostly, she just yelled at me anytime she saw me hobbling around on a fucked up leg or if she saw me struggling to roll my own wheelchair up a hill.

"Kai! Get your ass in that fucking wheelchair or I swear to God!"

Don't piss off Mama Bird. She'll kick your ass.

After the weekend was up, though, I thought that would be it. That they'd just sort of move their own way and I would move mine, and that we'd only ever speak some nice pleasantries when we saw each other around campus. I'd never really had friendships that lasted for a long time, so I wasn't expecting much when it came to these friends.

And then Lauren texts me on that Monday night.

Next thing I knew, one night of hanging out turned into two, turned into days and weeks and months. They were there for me through all of my ups and downs and in betweens, just as I was there for theirs. So many long, beautiful nights of doing nothing but laying IN the floor in their apartment in Kate 212, listening to SG or Lauren play the guitar and singing songs from one of their favorite bands (I think I learned more Joseph songs in nine months than I have anything else), Emily staring at her computer screen and bitching about capitalism, Haley having a glass of wine after her theater rehearsals as she works on a paper she has due that she hasn't started on, and Taylor walking in to complain about her student teaching sometimes or her roommates. Tinsley, or big bro as I like to call him, came around when he could to visit us and his girlfriend Kendra, outside of being a grown up doing responsible things.

There was no shortage of love to be found in that little four bedroom campus apartment, and the closer it got to May, when they would graduate, the more I would hold my breath. I had never had multiple people that I had connected with on such a deep, personal level, and the thought of them leaving me scared the absolute shit out of me. They were the ones that taught me that I could love myself for who I am and that's all that mattered, and they quickly became the loving family that I had always wished I had. To be honest, even now I'm still kind of scared that one day they'll decide to turn their back on me, but until then, they're going to be stuck with me. Even though they're all literally in different places in the world, I know that May 19th wasn't the end, and I don't think it ever will be.

Family doesn't always have to be blood. And sometimes, it's better when they're not.

And no, I didn't get to see any boobs that night.