Feeling Alone Together

When you first meet, there is no warning. You had hoped to find a man that was smart, successful, and focused on the future. And there he is. He works hard and gets what he wants. He has big plans for the future, and is gracious enough to invite you along. At first, this will seem exciting, until life doesn't go this way and you become an obstacle. There are some signs your "man in charge" is just entitled, and what may be causing it.

1. His parents support his bad behavior.

They’ll give him a hard time when your attitude isn’t 99 percent what they want, and he’s going to resent you for it, before he even thinks to ask you what’s wrong. He’s more worried that you aren’t playing the part as his happy girlfriend in front of his parents instead of trying to understand your feelings.

On the flip side, when he has poor attitude in front of them, they will stand by it. And you’ll try to help him through a bad mood, a problem, but it won’t matter. When he snaps at you, when he is rude to strangers, when he throws a quiet tantrum in public, his parents will allow this behaviour. This is not OK, and even though they are his parents, you still want them on your side and to keep him in check. If he can get away with this behavior in front of family, he’s going to get away with this and worse when the two of you are alone.

2. He won't say sorry.

He just won't. Fights and arguments are never going to be fair. He won't view apologizing as a way for you two to heal from a problem together. He doesn't want to admit he was wrong, or that he made a mistake. It's a huge hit to his ego, when it shouldn't even be about his feelings. He may try to distract you, turn the blame on you, or walk away. The fight ends, and he feels he won.

3. He’s a lonely person.

This guy is lonely. He doesn’t have friends, or cannot keep them. The same behaviors that hurt and bother you, annoy his friends and coworkers. He is a bummer, a downer at work, and you are the only person, besides his parents, that are in his life. He wants you to be lonely too. He won’t like when you hang out with your friends without him. When you invite him along, depending on what he feels about your friends, he is either a complete bore or has a crappy attitude. He’s going to turn what should have been a fun night into an awkward outing. Your friends will be confused and hurt when he acts bored. They will pull you aside and ask what’s wrong with him. You'll give your friends a shrug and say “he’s just like that.” This is not good.

4. He will never be happy.

I know it seems like this wouldn’t be the case. He has his money, his family, and you. But he’ll never be happy. He is always looking at what he wants, what he thinks he deserves. He will never appreciate a single happy moment in the present. When you are sitting together at dinner, he’s going to talk about his future. What kind of new car he wants, how much money he wants to make. He’s not going to talk about the two of you, unless you bring it up. And as for your relationship, well, that’s going to fit where he feels it should in his time.