First: Know Yourself

Is a relationship worth the fight?

Relationships are hard. They are about so many things; trust, communication, experiences, being happy, love, family, and most of all, each other. But how should we know what to prioritise, and when?

Well, it's the balance. A relationship, in the beginning, is mainly about making each other happy, which is why you're attracted to each other in the first place. But after a while, it becomes a lot more than that. It becomes deeper; wanting to know why the other person behaves, how they do, their past, their future, their family, aspirations, drive, and personality. What makes them who they are.

Once one or both of the people in the relationship starts to not really care anymore, or lose interest or prioritise other things, most people see it as a sign of "growing apart" or "a reason to give up," but isn't it the plain opposite?! You start to feel further apart from the other, but you still care, so wouldn't you want change it? Relationships need to be fought for, they need to be watered everyday, curated until they're full grown...But even then, it doesn't stop growing and it never will.

Advice Number One

Re-evaluating every so often isn't the worst thing in the world. Everyone needs to consider what is best for them and their future and what is best for each other. But if you do re-evaluate, do it an a positive way. Don't just list all the bad things that are wrong with the relationship, look at the good things too; why it is worth being together, why you want to be together, why the other person wants to be. Recall your past as a couple (or as partners) and think about what is yet to come, because if you end it there and then, you sure as hell will think about those things after the breakup. Take it slow, think about it, give it a chance, there's no need to rush, the days aren't going anywhere (and if they are something special—then neither are they). Every so often isn't the worst thing in the world. Everyone needs to consider what is best for them and their future and what is best for each other. But if you do re-evaluate, do it an a positive way. Don't just list all the bad things that are wrong with the relationship, look at the good things too; why it is worth being together, why you want to be together, why the other person wants to be. Recall your past as a couple (or as partners) and think about what is yet to come, because if you end it there and then, you sure as hell will think about those things after the breakup. Take it slow, think about it, give it a chance, there's no need to rush, the days aren't going anywhere (and if they are something special—then neither are they).

Advice Number Two

You need to prioritise yourself sometimes. Take some "You time." If your whole life is consumed by thinking about the relationship, take a step back. Remember, this is your life, too. Yes, you may want to share the rest of your life with someone, but it is YOURS first. Make sure your health, your future, family, friends, and body take the forefront sometimes. If you don't look after yourself, you can't expect anyone else to. Motivate yourself to be the best you. If you're not happy, change it. You only have one shot in life. Take it.

Advice Number Three

You need to love yourself before anyone can love you. Okay, so I'm still struggling with this one, too, but I'm still in a comfortable and stable relationship. This one is more about being comfortable with yourself instead of making it work. As partners, it's possible to help one another to be stronger, to learn to love yourselves, push the boundaries, and step out of your comfort zone. My partner is my cushion and my safety net. Always there to catch me when I fall, to support me in everything I do, and to comfort me when not everything is easy or turns out right. Life isn't perfect. It never will be, but life shouldn't be perfect. We would be bored if everything was perfect... nothing to fight for, nothing to learn, to experience, and to struggle, because all of these things shape us into who we are, who we want to be, and who we will be. So envisage yourself, not just physically, but emotionally as well. Picture how you would like to be and work towards it. NOTHING is stopping you...only you and your excuses.

So all these things are helpful if it's working, or if you both want it to work. But what if it doesn't or you don't want it to? Well, that's okay too. At least you've given it a go. How will you ever know what is meant to be if you don't try?

If you've given it a go and you're still not happy, not interested, too different, too similar? That's fine. This...What you've just experienced... It means you're one step closer to being who you want to be and being with who you want to be with. Now you know some of what you like and what you don't. Without mistakes, how are we supposed to know what is right or wrong? We don't. So congratulations, you've made it through possibly your first heartbreak, maybe your first heartache or even a difficult time. Now, it's time to focus on you. You've spent a little while wondering what's best for the both of you and now you know that it's you. Maybe you need to work on you for a bit, enjoy life as it comes and not force anything. Take it a day as it comes. Don't plan and don't worry, because your whole life is ahead of you.

Advice Number Four

(Don't worry, it's a short one) Be who you are and don't settle for anything less than you deserve (and this is more than you think). Everyone deserves to be happy and enjoy life, so if you aren't, then re-evaluate. Like I've said before, you come first. Everyone goes through tough stages in relationships, but in the long run, it needs to make you happy. If you haven't met "The One" yet, don't worry, there are over seven and a half billion people in the world, and you have time.

So, is it worth the fight?

Well, it's up to you...