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First Love?

The Story of a First Relationship Experience

By Nef GPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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I took this picture of a rose on one of our dates. 🌹

Hello all! Well I’m aware that this type of story has probably been shared many times but I feel that my story could help young girls and older learn a little bit about relationships from my experience. I want to share my whole journey with you guys (in separate parts) to enlighten others on what a toxic relationship can result in. This story is about my first and only relationship so far and how my inexperience brought me a lot of unneeded pain. What can make this story unique is that we broke up FIVE TIMES. But I’ve promised myself never to make that same mistake again which is why I want to share it with y’all.

It all started in the summer of 2016. However, my ex boyfriend and I started talking around April of 2016. We were just friends at the time as he is a year younger than me, but we clicked with each other easily. We talked for a few months and I realized that I had feelings for this guy. In June we admitted to having feelings for each other and we started dating that same month.

Now the very beginning to this story takes us back to 2013 when I was in eighth grade. I was in my middle school’s Drumline and was a captain. This boy never talked to me and was very shy. I didn’t think much of it because he was younger and we never came to having a conversation. It wasn’t until my junior year in high school that I encountered this boy again because he was in my chemistry class. We began to talk there and he joined the Drumline at the high school. We became close friends and I later found out that he had feelings for me in eighth grade which is why he never spoke to me—he was too shy.

Skipping to the beginning of our relationship, it was a good one, at first. It was summer so we had a lot of downtime to text, call, and go out and enjoy the sunny California weather. Everything seemed perfect with him and I felt he was a great person. He was still shy and second guessed everything he did. He was nervous to hold my hand, kiss me, and just about anything else. We were both new to relationships so it wasn’t a problem for me, and he told me everything with honesty. He’d tell me how he wanted to hold my hand on that one date but wasn’t able to have the courage. Or how he’d try to lean in for a kiss but ended up chickening out. He was sweet and nice and I enjoyed how honest he was with me.

As soon as school started however, things changed. It turned out that he had made other female friends that summer and they hadn’t stayed in touch too much until school started. One girl in particular started to become a problem as she always flirted with him and it didn’t help to know that she had a reputation of being a “hoe.”

Regardless of the reputations and rumors about her, he never put an end to her flirtations and it made me feel uneasy about their friendship. At first I didn’t know how to handle the situation since it was my first relationship and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, but it did upset me to see her try to be all over him.

He’d notice I got upset and we’d talk about it. He’d say it was not a big deal and that he’d stay away. Of course, he never told her this, and so she wouldn’t stop. In the moment, he didn’t know how to tell her to just leave him alone and it caused me more anxiety over it. So the cycle continued.

During all of this, we were in the middle of our marching band season and we got to spend a lot of football games and band rehearsals together. But this girl was also in band so she was always there trying to get him to hang out with her.

Soon I got tired of this girl and since I’m soft spoken, I never confronted her which now I wish I had. He sort of handled the issue and she started to back off when he told her that she was causing our relationship problems.

A few weeks later however, we were hanging out in my house. We were on his Instagram and when I went to look someone up, a list of recent searches came up. There were several girls from our school in this list and a couple that had moved away. I asked why they were there and he said they were old searches but I knew he was lying since we had used his search bar on Instagram before, and they never showed up. What didn’t make sense is that he didn’t even follow half of the girls and they all had private accounts; what was he supposed to be looking at? So I decided to let it go for the sake of not arguing, (again due to my inexperienced and fearful self) and we went on with the relationship.

On March 19th, 2017 we had a Drumline competition, and my then boyfriend and I were looking up the address to the school and a name popped up on his search bar. (Mind that this was on google and when you google someone it can be hard to find much about them.) Yet, here was one of the names of the girls who were on his Instagram search bar months back. I questioned him about it and he didn’t know what to say... the ride to the school was a quiet and awkward one. That whole day was difficult for me but at the end of the day when he took me home, I called him.

That was our first breakup.

To be continued...

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About the Creator

Nef G

:)

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