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First Signs of Abusive Relationships

From First Hand Experience

By Tonya NarzinskyPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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First of all, if you have not personally been in an abusive relationship (whether mentally or physically), you have no room to talk.... PERIOD! I am so sick of hearing about people saying, "How could they stay?" There are many factors that play into the decision of when to leave or stay. People don’t realize mental abuse can ultimately brainwash a person. When you make someone feel so powerless, insecure, and frightened, they can become beings that they naturally never were. The results of abusive relationships normally result in PTSD, anxiety, or depression (if you are lucky). Some even worse… this is why I stress to PLEASE watch out for yourself and people you care about. If someone new they are dating shows some red flags, take action! At least be aware of the situation and always provide social support.

Some First Signs to Watch Out for:

  1. They try to isolate you from friends and family, so they can try to control you without outside interference.
  2. They start to try to control what you wear and if you wear makeup.
  3. They may try to get you to move away from your family and friends.
  4. They start to show signs of aggression with how they speak to you and about other people.
  5. They treat their own family like shit.
  6. They may be mean to pets, as well.
  7. They will put on a front to the outside world, but to you, you will see the real side.
  8. They may want you to cook, clean, do everything as a “woman” should do in their eyes, while they sit on their ass.
  9. They may lie about you even to others, just to “keep you” for themselves and keep others away.
  10. Threats and blackmail are very common.
  11. They try to take your phone or even break them at points.
  12. Makes you feel stupid and worthless and attacks your insecurities so you are always submissive and “sorry”.
  13. Tells you, "You will never find someone better/who loves you better than me," or, "You won't find anyone else that puts up with your shit." In this case, they are scared to lose you because they know they are not worthy of you, and tries the scare tactic on you.
  14. Breaks everything in sight, corners you, etc. in a rage episode.
  15. Threatens you or your family—THIS IS PROBABLY THE NUMBER ONE DRIVING FACTOR REGARDING WOMEN/MEN BEING SCARED TO LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP. WHEN THEY FEEL THAT AUTHORITY CAN BARELY EVEN CONTROL THE HUMAN BEING, THEN THAT IS WHEN WE FEEL FAILED BY THE SYSTEM. THEY ARE THEN SCARED FOR PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THEIR LIFE, AND IN RETURN, CONTINUE THE RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT TELLING MANY PEOPLE ABOUT THE TRUE DETAILS. IT IS A CONSTANT ROLLERCOASTER RIDE, UNTIL ONE PERSON EITHER ENDS UP IN JAIL, BADLY HURT, OR EVEN DEAD, SADLY. Unfortunately, If you EVER get slapped, punched, pushed... LEAVE! I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE, WHO YOU'RE WITH, WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE... THEY ARE NOT WORTH ANY OF YOUR TIME IF THEY EVER LAY A HAND ON YOU! PERIOD. YOUR PERSONAL PEACE IS WORTH MORE THAN ANYTHING! WHEN YOU FINALLY SPEND TIME ALONE, YOU WILL REALIZE WHAT YOUR SOUL TRULY CRAVES!!!!!

If you have gone through this or know of someone, please let them know you are there for them. Sometimes people feel stuck and cannot leave because they are in fear of their lives. I was stuck back and forth for four years because I had become brainwashed and so insecure and scared. I had felt even the cops couldn’t really handle him, and felt I had to survive and get away in my own time. I had to realize I was worth more than that, and I am. I will be writing more about this topic shortly and on other topics regarding mental and physical health.

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About the Creator

Tonya Narzinsky

-Bachelors Degree in Psychology from University of South Florida

-Working towards Master's Degree in Psychology

-Dance Instructor, Life Pursuer

-Health, Wellness, & Lifestyle posts

-Working from Wifi

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