First There Was Me... Then I Added Three (Part 2 of 3)

(If you read part one, you would remember that Romeo was Hermoso’s best friend from church.)

I remember meeting Romeo for the first time back in the fall of 2009 at the church Hermoso brought me to. I was very nervous about going to a church where I wouldn’t know anybody, but at the same time I was excited to be back in the church community because I haven’t been there in a long time.

Hermoso played the drums for the church, so every time we went to church together I barely talked to him. Before Hermoso went up to play the drums, he introduced me to Romeo and said to sit next to him because he’s a nice person.

After meeting Romeo, I sat beside him the whole service. He began telling me all about the church: what roles each person played, the youth group, and about all the females who were not the best influences (to put it lightly) That’s when I learned about Hermoso’s past with girls and how he had history with almost all of the females Romeo told me about.

Normally, hearing of someone’s past doesn’t bother me since it had nothing to do with me, BUT, because these females he had history with kept flirting with him every chance they got (right in front of my face may I add), it raised some flags for me. I continued to ignore these signs until Hermoso’s cousin began telling me the same thing and how I should not trust him.

In 2010 after Hermoso and I broke up, Romeo was there every step of the way. Unfortunately, by this time he had left the country because he was sent to boarding school, which was okay since we talked almost every day on Facebook. Despite him not being around, I still attended the church because it became my new home. While Romeo was away, Hermoso began talking bad about him saying all these things about how he is a follower. You would never guess they were best friends by the way he was talking.

When I got back from church I waited on Facebook for Romeo to sign on so I could speak to him. I told him everything that was going on in the church and all that Hermoso had to say about him. Romeo didn’t care and said not to worry about it because he never really saw him as a friend anyways but just someone he grew up with. After that conversation, I didn't really hear much from him for a little while and never knew why.

We lost contact for a few years and in 2013 he messaged me. He told me that he was coming back home and wanted to meet up. I was so excited because at this point I had already fallen for him and his charm. I thought it was a sign because the city where he moved to was the same city I was doing my first acting gig.

Every weekend when I had rehearsal I would travel extra early just to meet up with him and hang out before rehearsal began. The first time we met up we went to the movies and he didn’t even pay attention. I was kind of upset because the movies were NOT cheap, and I paid for most of it (which was okay). I was upset because he kept trying to touch me and wanted to kiss me, and I just wasn’t into any of that (especially not on the first date).

He eventually stopped after I said "No" a million times, and we continued watching the movie. After the movies, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and, at first, I was a little hesitant, but I said, "Sure, why not." OK, I didn’t respond like that, but I definitely said yes. I remember smiling so hard as we walked down the street towards my rehearsal.

As we were walking some random guy started looking at me in a flirtatious way, and Romeo didn’t like that. He gave that guy a very rude look and said, "That’s my girlfriend you’re looking at." Normally, people would be in awe for someone standing up for them or claiming what’s theirs (so to speak). However, for me, I was actually upset because you can’t just say rude things to strangers. You never know what they are carrying or what they could do to someone for just looking at them wrong.

I told Romeo that, as sweet as that was, I didn’t like you giving strangers rude looks or being rude in general. He pretty much didn’t understand what I meant by that and kept walking as if nothing happened.

After rehearsal, I was so exhausted but super excited to tell my friend the news. I ended up sleeping over at her house and told her all about it. I even changed my Facebook status from single to in a relationship with him—only to find out he declined and wanted us to be kept a secret.

I was annoyed because I had already dealt with being kept a secret by Hermoso due to his family and history with females and now this. I asked Romeo why he declined and wanted to be kept a secret, and he said his family doesn’t want him dating because he’s too young and apparently two of his ex’s were angry with him too.

Ironically enough, his ex’s were two girls from church who also had a thing with Hermoso. I’m sure you are probably wondering what the heck goes on in church, and let me tell you, A LOT—but that’s a whole different story. Turned out Romeo had promised he would be with one of the girls when he got back but wasn’t interested in her anymore, and the other wanted him back ONLY because he was with me.

Surely enough, Romeo broke up with me and said, “I’m sorry, but when I get these girls off my back we will get back together I promise.” I was so hurt because I felt like I was falling into this cycle of bad men, or I was attracting certain types of men. I told him to do what he needed to do so we could try again the right way.

A few days passed and he fixed the issue and we tried again. Would you believe word got out to his family we were dating again, and he broke up with me AGAIN? I told him if we ever get back together and you dump me again, I am not giving you another chance. He told me he was sorry and that the third time was the charm.

Finally, for the third time we got back together and this time it was the right way. I guess the thought of me never giving him another chance made it clear it was now or never. Now let me tell you that during the duration of our relationship we experienced hardships, fails, and lots and LOTS of lies and empty promises.

Two years later we broke up. What led to that caused me so much pain because I felt I gave my all into making him as comfortable and loved as possible. In May 2015, when we broke up, it was my mom’s birthday as well as his. (They are two days apart.) My family and I had taken my mom to Niagara Falls for her birthday, which happened to be on the weekend in which our 2-year anniversary and his birthday fell on.

He was staying in a shelter due to hard times and had no means of communication besides the phone and computers they had there. I waited all day for his call to wish him a happy birthday and a happy anniversary and he never called. I was so sad because I was worried and didn’t know if he was okay or not.

When I got back home from Niagara my brother drove me to the shelter where he was staying, and I surprised him. He was NOT happy in the least concern and barely said two words to me. After literally five minutes of talking, he ran back inside saying he wouldn’t get dinner if he were not there on time. Before he left he said he promised he would see me the next day.

Turned out that was a lie and another empty promise. When he called me he had told me during the duration of his stay in the shelter he had gotten into a relationship with another girl for a week while sleeping with another. I was so angry, but at this point I was more hurt about the empty promises and lies that the cheating pushed me over the edge, and I dumped him. He apologized so many times and said he didn’t mean to hurt me etc. (like we all haven’t heard that one before right?)

Being the bigger person I was—and stronger, for that matter—after everything I have dealt with in life, I forgave him. I forgave him because we all make mistakes, and we all go through rough patches, but just because I forgave him that didn’t mean we got back together. He cried a lot and I don’t think I have ever heard him that sad before but unfortunately every action has a consequence (good or bad), and in this case it was bad on his part.

When I told him how hurt I was all he said was, “I didn’t want you seeing me at my worst,” and all I was thinking was how could this be your worst. I’ve seen it all, and before he went to the shelter my family took him in, and he had a place to sleep, food in his stomach, etc. So for him to say that just made me angry because not only was my family so good to him, but I was as well. I wasn’t working, and I was supporting him with whatever little money I had, and, unfortunately, he would use the money for things that were unnecessary.

Then he told me that one of the guys he worked with when he was in the shelter gave him advice to leave me because I was doing so well with my life, and he was going nowhere with his, which led him down the wrong path of cheating and avoiding me. When he said all this I laughed to myself because he was taking relationship advice from someone who got divorced by his wife for cheating and lies amongst other things, not only causing him to lose his relationship with his wife, but his children, too.

After all that was said and done I knew that this wasn’t the person that I fell in love with or the person I wanted to marry and have children with. I didn’t know who he was anymore or if he was ever going to get himself back on the right track. He wasn’t the man for me anymore but because he was a really good friend in general we remained friends. We continued keeping in touch up until I started talking to, and hanging out with, my son’s father roughly 4–5 times a week.

Keep following for guy number 3, a.k.a. Dreddy, and also to see how Romeo makes another appearance back in my life.