Humans is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.
How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.
How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.
To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.Show less
I think there are certain topics that just don’t need to idly be discussed among friends. These are personal topics, I’m not talking about religion and politics. Even the closest of friends like to keep some things to themselves, and if you are in a rocky friendship from the start, you shouldn’t be prying into the other person’s life.
I recently was half of one of these rocky friendships and the other person was continually asking me questions that were out of line. When I did answer I would sound like I was on the defensive, mainly because it was none of their business but I felt obligated as a friend to respond in some way. Then I learned not to answer those questions at all and wait for the subject to change.
Here are some of those topics. The ones that you really don’t need to know the details of unless that person starts the conversation with you. I never ask my friends how their relationships are going, unless they bring relationship concerns to me. I never ask my friends how much money they make at their jobs because that’s none of my business. But I digress.
Most businesses ask you not to discuss your pay with coworkers, and I think you should avoid discussing these things with friends as well. Maybe if they’re considering working for the same company as you and want a ballpark figure, you could give them info on your starting pay, but that’s just sketchy territory. When their questioning sounds like they just want to compare salaries so they can brag about making more than you, then you need to run.
Relationship Problems or a Lack There Of
If your friend is always trying to pry into your relationship when you aren’t ever going to them for relationship advice, that can get annoying really quick. My issue was having someone always asking if things were going good and how my boyfriend felt about my recent “cut” in pay. I never once made it sound like he had any issue with me and my finances, and I chose not to even answer the question. To me, it felt like this person just wanted to get me to say bad stuff about my guy. But why?
Their Mental Issues
How’s your social anxiety treating you today? That’s just a mean thing to say, but there are people out there like that. I have a tendency to get a little Facebook status post crazy when I am extra anxious or when I am in a depressive state. If someone really wants to be there for me they should private message with an “I say your post, is there anything I can do to help?” Don’t swoop in asking what’s the matter. I, and I am sure many others, don't just post for attention. Don’t come in with your advice and anecdotes because what works for one person doesn’t always work for someone else.
How Some Big Project They're Working On Is Coming Along
If you’re continually reaching out to your friend asking them if they finished that big work project they told you about a week ago, or asking them on a daily (or even every other day) basis if they have had any luck finding work, you are just adding to the stress they are already feeling. Stop it. They’ll fill you in when there’s something to actually fill you in on.
When They Are Going To Do Something You Want Them To Do
Quit hounding your friends to do the things you want them to do. If that therapy idea is so important to you, maybe you should go. All your badgering does is annoy them and make them want to do whatever it is even less. I recently wrote an article about friends that like to give unsolicited advice, you should go read that!