The musician I am currently dating isn’t the first musician I ever dated, but I intend for him to be the last. Not because I wouldn’t date a musician again, but because I finally found a good guy.
This is besides the point, though.
What I want to talk about is how hard and how easy it can be to date someone that plays music for a living. “Band guys” aren’t really like the other guys in the world, and when he’s playing out you have a lot to deal with. When he’s busy recording or creating new music, you’ll have a lot to deal with.
Understand That He Will Always Be A Kid At Heart
Your music man may be young or old, but for as long as he’s playing music on a regular basis, even if he’s not making a living off it, he will always be young at heart. He needs to be that way to be successful at what he’s doing, so you need to deal with that.
What you need to be is his opposite. If you are both always having fun and never taking responsibility for life then you are going to run into plenty of issues. Someone needs to be the “adult” in the relationship, and it won’t be him. My guy knows this and I know he won’t take offense to these statements. He pays the bills and pays them on time, but he’d lose his head if it wasn’t securely attached. He has a million things on his mind, and 99% of those things are lyrics and guitar chords.
Don’t Be The Jealous Type
Jealousy is one of those things that comes with a lack of security. You need to make sure that you are secure enough in your relationship or your romance isn’t going to last. It’s pretty likely that you’re not going to be able to follow him to all of his shows, especially if he plays for a living, and you can bet girls (and guys even) will hit on him. If you’re continually thinking he’s cheating or glaring at fans when you are at his gigs you’ll make him look bad and you’re definitely making yourself look bad.
Don’t Go To Every Show
My boyfriend is a career musician and some weeks he has five or more gigs scheduled. I would get really bored if I attended every one of his shows. It’s not that I don’t love him and his music, it’s just that sitting at breweries and wineries every night gets boring and I really don’t want to become an alcoholic. Plus, when you do finally go to a show it can be a special event instead of just routine.
If you have a job with a regular schedule you might not be able to attend every show anyway. You don’t want to lose money or your job because you’re asking for days off all the time.
Set A Budget When You Do Go Out
Career musicians can surely make enough money to live off of, but if you’re going to his gigs and spending $40 plus a night on food and drinks you’re defeating the purpose of him working. The last time I went out to one of my guys shows my bill was $40, for two drinks and a main dish. He made $40 in tips. That means my night out negated his tips (since we live together this matters).
Have a drink max (mine is two) and try to eat before you go out to save money on dining expenses.
Always Be Supportive
The final tip for being the best romantic partner to a musician is to always be supportive. Musicians need time to make their music. Your partner is not ignoring you when he’s in his studio. He’s creating the thing that makes him happy. You have to see it that way or you’re always going to feel like you’re being left behind.
Share his music with your friends and family. Be honest about how you like that new song he wrote or how well he did at his last gig. Honesty is always the best policy, in any relationship. However, you need to learn to be a kind critic, since you do have to share a roof with this person!