For Those Who Fall in Love with a Free Spirit

Some of us go misunderstood in this world. Traveling through the land of trials and tribulations in a pack of one. Some by choice, and some by the lack thereof. It is an undeniably unique journey that one can partake in.

So many individuals find comfort in a collection. Seeing the world in the eyes of the masses, and making sure that their perceptions are the same. The thing is, some personalities are too strong to conform to this way of living.

I’m not making an argument on which way makes for a better person, because naturally, they each have their own strengths and weaknesses. However, I will tell the story of the free spirit—the one who takes this journey by choice.

A part of this journey means moments of existential loneliness, and the beauty of freedom that accompanies it.

Being Alone

As free spirits, we realize something. We are alone in this world. We know we aren’t, not in the sense that you proclaim. We have families and good friends that we can’t deny. However, that doesn’t change the fact that we are alone in this word. We are people, some would describe as enigmatic with a sense of mystery behind it all. Though we have family and friends, no one really gets it. No one understands us.

At some level, people do understand us, but we can tell when someone is not looking at us through the right pair of lenses. Like everybody, we have many forms.

For me, I have the successful college student venturing into a lucrative internship.

My caring side that will do just about anything for anyone.

My side that doesn’t give a crap about money and will spend it without prejudice.

My side, which is considerably good at saving money.

My adventurous side.

My passionate side.

We embrace the differences in our personality, and there is at least one person that knows each of those parts. With that, we can often contradict ourselves, which makes for a unique predicament. If we find someone who understands one part of our personality, there is another part of us that will forever be foreign to them

There’s one more part of our personality that we rarely show the world. It is fragile, broken, lost, vulnerable, yet it's the strongest part of us. That is the part of us that walks when we’re at our lowest of lows, and our highest of highs. The worst part is, it's the part that always walks alone.

This portion of our personality is what all the other qualities above boil down to—it is the real us. That is the lone spirit that chooses to stray from the rest.

The Fragile Spirit

It is when we are this person that the winds of time and space blow away all of the other layers like dust. Leaving a bare sense of energy and being that has gone unfounded. It’s not anyone’s fault, and we know that.

With that said, not many people can peel back far enough to see this living and breathing creature. Not many ever dare, just as we never dare to show someone willingly. And so, we are alone. It’s not a sense of trauma or fear, but rather the ultimate self-respect; we don’t want to show ourselves to just anybody.

This part of us is different from the others. It can’t be explicitly described. It has to be discovered through observation of our actions. You have to pay close attention to us to even get a glimpse. Some start to crack the code but have come nowhere close.

When that code starts becoming discovered, it is one of the warmest feelings we can feel. It is when we know someone truly cares.

What I know is this. It’s by choice.

It is in this state that we can have a part of us that can never be touched by an undeserving human being. It’s our peace. Though it gets lonely, it never truly hurts.

The chances of us dying old and alone spike with the acceptance of this fact, and we don’t care. We don’t care because no one has ever been willing to come to our level. No one has made us afraid enough to dig to the deepest part of ourselves. Sometimes we don’t think anyone ever will.

We like being lost because being found hurts too much.

We are here, and the only way to love us is to find us.