Forbidden

It was a cold night, being mid December. My nerves were everywhere. A mix of excitement and eagerness. I yearned to taste that forbidden fruit. I felt juvenile.

I texted him to see what part of the building he was at. He was subbing as a janitor tonight. He texted back. Building C, by where the buses park.

I knocked on the door. He appeared from the classroom on the left. He opened the door saying, "Hey, you."

I followed him into the room. Ms. Mills. Her name was in bold on the wall. I never experienced this classroom years prior. He was cleaning it. We went into the hallway for him to sweep. He began pulling notes off the walls and lockers, each covered in nice compliments. Something for anti-bullying. I smiled and helped him.

He enjoyed what he was doing. A certain calm energy about it.

He finished and dropped off his janitor cart in the boiler room, and went to grab his lunch.

…he reached into a beat up refrigerator, and pulled out a silver tin box...

We walked back into the campus courtyard towards the building we started in. He opened the door to a room I now recognized as my Sophomore math class. Seeming unsatisfied with the surroundings he nudged his head towards the door to the hallway and said, “Come on.”

He lead me to another classroom. Ms. Mills stared back at me in bold letters in the now dark room. Silhouettes of two columns of desks faced eachother leaving an empty gap in the middle of the room. I imagined Ms. Mills pacing back and forth lecturing her students. A smile across her face while she filled young minds with knowledge.

He chose two desks in front on the left column. I sat and stared out at the row of desks across from us, a row of empty seats as eager as I was to see how our night would unfold. I heard his lunch tin to the right of me rattle as he pulled his evening meal out. A shiny piece of wrapped foil appeared in front of me. It read "Almond Roca." I looked over at him and smiled. He mirrored me with his own sheepish grin and said, “Eat. They’re delicious.”

He unwrapped his own shiny package of Roca. I opened mine and nibbled, my nerves too high to really enjoy it. He had a way of making me very nervous. I laid the sweet, half-eaten treat back in its wrapper. I had originally come here to talk to him about things that were bothering me, as a friend and nothing more. In my heart, I knew, this was more than that. Our meeting had been mostly quiet. Just enjoying each other's presence.

My body turned in the seat so I was facing him. His goodies nearly gone. He wiped his hands with the enclosed napkin and closed the tin lid. Turning his body towards mine our legs touched. My heart thudded in my chest. He reached over, putting his hand around my waist; he pulled me into his lap. I wrapped my arms around him and we embraced. It felt so safe. I pulled away, looked into the those golden eyes, and finally spoke.

“Your heart’s pounding.” I could hear it clearly.

He breathed a laugh and said, “Yeah, it does that.”

…the blood rushed up to my cheeks. His eyes quickly moved from my eyes to my lips and back again. My head tilted to the side and I leaned into him. I closed my eyes, his lips pressed into mine, and I lost it. My fingers curled around his hair and tugged slightly. He moaned into my mouth, and we drank each other in.

We finally broke apart, coming up for air. We both let out a small laugh. I put my head on his shoulder, and his fingers brushed through my hair while we just held each other for awhile.

The click of the classroom door shutting behind us was deafening. He entwined his hand with mine, and we walked towards the doors that lead outside. His arm went around my shoulders when the cool air hit us. We walked towards my car in the parking lot. He kissed my forehead, opened the door, and closed it when I was safely inside.

His shadow faded in my rear view mirror. I turned up the radio which flashed 12 AM. “River” by Leon Bridges was what pumped through my speakers while I got lost in the dark streets.

I turned the key in the lock and crept inside. Leaving my shoes by the front door, I made my way to the bathroom. I looked tired and flushed. My brown hair wild from the outdoor wind, and my secret rendezvous. The corner of my mouth curled into a smile. My reflection quickly frowned back at me when I met her eyes. I swallowed, quickly changed into shorts and a tank, brushed my teeth, and made my way to bed.

I lifted the covers hoping not to disturb the sleeper next to me. The man whose name I took, whom I promised a forever, but our relationship more of convenience. He would meet with his secret her tomorrow and I would meet with my secret him.