Four Ways to Cope With Heart Break

Listen, I' am not going to sit here and give you some sugar coated crap, that getting over heartbreak is easy, and that there's a ten-step list you have to follow to make your problems disappear. There's no magic potion you can drink to get rid of it (although there are certain methods that may numb or dull the pain), there's just no physical one-cures-all for this affliction.

And I'm not going to tell you that it's only temporary. Why? Because life is full of heartbreak. You may get your heartbroken over a lover one minute, and a friend may break your heart the next. That is just life.

But what I can tell you, is that there are ways to cope, and heal from heartbreak. And the good news in all this is, healing makes you stronger (not only that, it takes a strong person to heal). I think it's important you know some ways to cope and deal with heartbreak. Depending on your personality, and depending on how deep the pain, there are different strategies you can use so that you don't have to let emotional pain control your life.

I think of it like this: typically, when one gets a slight scratch, and the cut isn't too deep, it normally heals on its own. So, normally, the best thing to do is give it time and distance. However, deeper wounds need to be dealt with head on, with constant treatment everyday (I don't have a lot of medical knowledge, but I do understand extreme conditions will most likely need extreme treatment). I know that heartbreak can't physically be measured, but I feel like the intensity of the emotional pain sometimes might be determined by how serious the situation is.

And the reality is, everyone is different with a unique set of experiences, so there really is no general way to gauge heartbreak for everyone. Only the individual knows the pain felt, so, depending on how deeply you feel emotional pain, is how you should approach the situation. Different encounters affect people differently. One thing that hurts me, may not be something that would offend another person. For instance, I love how I look. So, if someone walks up to me and says, "Hey, you're ugly," I'll just cock my head confused and say, "What are you talking about?" But someone who's more sensitive about their self image may have just felt like their heart was shattered into a million pieces. So I can't say one way works for every person. All I can really say is there are ways to cope with the heartbreak you're dealing with, no matter the magnitude of the situation.

What I don't want to do here is say one person's heartbreak is more important than the other's. Although it's an abstract concept (if you want to get logical) dealing with heartbreak is imperative for EVERYONE who has it. I think theres' people that walk around everyday with strife that they shouldn't have to carry.

I'm just going to discuss some ways that I have found to help me deal with heartbreak, and things that I have seen others do that help them through the pain.

Identifying Emotions

I think one thing that has helped me through my heartbreak is to figure out my emotions and why I feel that way. How is one supposed to know where to even begin if they don't know the problem? So that's where I start. I just ask myself where the pain is coming from, so that I can focus on healing that.

Getting It Off My Chest

My mom always taught me never to stuff my emotions. So, growing up, I learned to be able to know what I felt, and to be able to express that. So, whether it's with a friend, family member, or a therapist, I think it's crucial to get it out. If you don't feel like you can talk to someone, then the next best thing to do would be to journal it. A lot of times if I can't talk to someone about what I'm going through, I will write about it in a personal journal. Sometimes, even finding a creative outlet to vent through can help, like poetry, or some kind of art form. Either way, it's important to let those feelings out.

Getting Love and Support

So, this comes after the venting, and the crying, or whatever it is you had to do to let it out. Make sure, that whoever you were venting to, is someone you know you are able to trust, and someone who will be understanding of the situation. If you weren't able to vent, make sure you find a positive group of people to be around whom you know will be able to cheer you up. Trust me, it helps a ton just be around people who can help you put things into perspective. Even if they themselves don't know what you're going through, even that positive energy can make a world of difference.

Get Some Space

Often times, when I go through emotional turmoil, I find that getting some time to myself is best. And sometimes, I also end up distancing myself from many people, so that I can gain a clear perspective, and gain an understanding of who I can trust with my heart. Sometimes I'll go to the park, sometimes I'll lock myself in my room and write, or watch movies. I think it's imperative when suffering heartbreak to reflect on how you want to rise out of that situation, and how to let it make you a better person.

Whatever it is you're going through, my hope and prayer for you is that you can grow from it. I really hope this reached someone out there, and made a difference... And whoever reads this, know you're not alone. We've all gone through heartbreak... It doesn't make you any less valuable of a person, it just makes you human.