Game Over

They always say “date your best friend” but never tell you the outcome if it ends. You’ll lose your best friend and lover all at once, and it’s the hardest thing ever.

He broke my heart on May 18, 2018. It was one of the hardest days of my life. I was at work when he dropped the ball on me. It was out of nowhere. It happened so fast and there was nothing I could do to stop it, I tried. I cried for 6 hours straight while I was delivering pizzas. He brought me back to life to just take it away in a blink of an eye. I still don’t know why, maybe I just wasn’t enough. We were so happy I thought. Well at least I was.

He first kissed me when we were sitting on my couch racing to find words in crossword puzzles, I won every single time. After that it was a thing. At the time I was working at the Table. He would come and park in the back and I would run out to get my kisses from him. I was so happy. Everyone had seen it. I’d come inside smiling like a damn fool every time. He made my whole life light up. It stayed that way for a minute. Eventually I started staying at his house every single night. It was my favorite part of everyday. Curling up next to my love, being held, and loved on.

I felt important. He told me he would never leave me, and of course I believed him. I really thought he meant it. He isn’t the type of guy to tell you something he doesn’t truly believe. I seen him in my future and he seen me in his. We talked about having kids and the names they’d have fit his last name perfectly. I don’t think I can use the names I wanted to anymore because of him. It all just felt so real, until he said “I can’t do this.” That has to be the hardest thing to ever hear.

The day he ended it I stayed at his house that night so I thought things were fine, but they weren’t. He quit trying to talk to me. He lost 100% interest in me. Then on my graduation night I was with one of my friends and we went to a house he was at, and at this point we weren’t really anything. I walk in and say what’s up like we were just friends and sit away from him. He eventually gets up and sits back down right next to me, then curled up with me. In front of his friends too so, I thought things were fine once again. The next 2 nights I stayed at his house, I didn’t know it’d be the last times. It hurts so much thinking about it. He completely forgot about me, which hurts like hell.

It wasn’t puppy love; it was love, at least to me. He gave me a drawer. Which is a pretty big deal especially since it was the middle top, biggest one he had. I had all my stuff in there. So when it ended on May 18th I asked for my stuff back. I didn’t get it back for a long time. I brought it up to him everyday. Part of me thinks he avoided it so he didn’t have to let go but, he just didn’t care. I went to his house without him there and knocked to get my stuff back. I went downstairs to his room and got in the drawer and it was empty, which shocked me. Then I looked around and cried for a few seconds then sucked it up and left. I then proceeded to call him and he of course didn’t answer me so, I text him. He said he had my stuff “bagged up” in the back seat of his car. Then tells me to just pick it up. So I drive to where he is and crawl in his back seat and get my stuff. Didn’t see him, didn’t hear from him, nothing.

What kind of person breaks your heart over text and then can’t even look you in the face to give you your stuff back? Maybe he couldn’t handle seeing me. I’ll never know why he did me dirty like that. He never once raised his voice at me either. If we argued, it’d be over text. In person it was all rainbows and butterflies. Needless to say is if you can’t look at me when you’re mad, then what are we doing? Then again he did break up with me. So I’m down my love and my best friend right now. It’s pretty rough. Never date your best friend.