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Gay and Lesbian PDA

The Stigma of It and Why Same-Sex Couples Shouldn't Be Afraid to Show It

By Rebecca Field: The Write SpacePublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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We all see it and know about it, but rarely do we talk about it: the stigma around public displays of affection between same-sex couples. As a fellow lesbian, I find it sad and frustrating that the LGBTQ+ community feels that they have to hide their love and affection for each other. Why should anyone feel as if they can’t kiss or hold hands with their partner in public? Unfortunately, there are a number of reasons why this is happening.

Why Same-Sex Couples Don’t Show PDA:

Internalized Stigma

The idea that some of those who are gay could be part of the reason why other gays aren’t displaying their affections towards their partners is sad and shocking, but it’s true. They feel shame towards themselves and others who are in same-sex relationships, and so it creates a vicious cycle of themselves and others feeling as if they shouldn’t be kissing their partner in the public eye. This is something that shouldn’t be an issue; there is no shame in being gay and so there should be no shame in showing your sweetheart how much you love them publicly.

Safety Concerns

Even though our country, the United States, has come a long way in fighting for equal rights for those of the LGBT Community, there are still many people out there who are homophobic. And some of those people can get violent when it comes to seeing two people of the same sex being affectionate with one another openly. It’s hard enough being out and proud, but those who physically show their disagreements about the gay and lesbian community make it even harder. There are areas in the US where even just holding hands is risky, making it so that same-sex couples feel as if they can’t be who they truly are. This is the most fearful form of discrimination in the LGBTQ+ community and there needs to be a solution to this. No one should fear for their lives just because of their sexual orientation.

Fear of Discrimination

Discrimination seems to be the main reason why same-sex couples avoid kissing or even holding hands in public. Should they decide to do so, they have to worry and wonder if someone is going to walk up to them and shout at them, telling them that what they are doing is wrong or disgusting. Or even worse, show it physically, as mentioned before. It seems as if those who discriminate towards gays are possibly upset with themselves for not being accepting of something so trivial.

Entrenched Prejudice

There have been advancements in the fight for gay rights and a lot of hetero people helped with that, but the same people that are okay with gays having the same rights as hetero people don’t want to see them showing any signs of affection publicly. This is a double standard; it’s as if they are saying, “Sure you can get married and adopt a child, but I don’t want to see you holding hands walking down the street.” It’s one thing if people are uncomfortable with any signs of PDA, whether it is gay or straight couples, but its discrimination if they are only uncomfortable with gay couples. When it comes to things such as this, there is no point to support gay rights if you get offended when they are affectionate towards each other. It just makes you look like a self-righteous jerk.

Religions against Gays and Lesbians

I’m sure that we all know by now that certain religions teach that if man lies with man then their soul is damned to Hell. That right there is a huge deterrent for any gay person to want to attend church. Let alone have a gay or lesbian couple get married in one. Why would anyone listen to a religion that dictates how you live your life? If you’re just as big a fan of the show Shameless as I am, I’m sure you very much agree with the way Ian handles things religion-wise in season 8. I won’t give any spoilers away in case you haven’t seen it, but let me just say that what he says about religion makes a lot more sense compared to what the church teaches most of us. That being said, if religions were more accepting of gay couples, then they would be more accepting of religion.

Why They Should Show PDA

So with that being said, there are plenty of good reasons why gay and lesbian couples should feel free to kiss or hold hands with their partners and not care what anyone else thinks. I know I do, and it makes me feel great to be proud of who I am and of my partner.

What is appropriate for hetero couples should also be appropriate for same-sex couples. Now I’m not saying that they should have a full-on make-out session in the middle of the supermarket, but then again I think that is inappropriate no matter what your sexual orientation is. But there’s no reason why they shouldn’t be able to give each other a smooch on the lips or link hands with each other as they decide what is for dinner.

Gay and lesbian couples should be able to feel comfortable with showing PDA in the same manner as straight couples do. I mean, they get to do it without fear of being judged or ridiculed, so why can’t the gay couples? They need to be able to let go of their inhibitions and not care what other people think. They should be able to have those moments where they feel as if no one else is around and be themselves without the fear of being harassed or judged just because of their sexual orientation.

Same-sex couples need to feel as if they don’t have to hide who they are or their relationships. We all deserve to live the way that we want. Being confident in who we are and who we are with should come naturally and not feel as if we have to hide that part of our life away from the public eye.

I know that not every gay or lesbian that reads this is going to think, “Yeah, I’ll kiss my partner any time I want, no matter where we are.” But that’s okay, the point of this is to say that I believe that if we all learned to not care how other people live their lives and not pay attention to the two men kissing on a park bench or to the lesbian couple dancing at the bar then this world would be a better place. Life is too short to live it in fear of what others may think or say. We need to stop the hate, stop the discrimination and just live our lives the way that we want and forget everyone else.

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About the Creator

Rebecca Field: The Write Space

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