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So, for some reason, I have always found myself in the middle. Quite honestly, once you’re in the middle it feels like there’s no going back. You really can’t find a way to escape from what essentially, you put yourself into. Life sucks that way sometimes. For instance, when you were younger and your friends used to be in a bit of a tiff, and it always ended up with you having to choose a side. Like dude, why would you do that to me? Rude. In my case, I tend to stay neutral. Basically, what I’m trying to say is I completely abort the situation. I run the other direction. No shame. This tactic I have acquired has helped me more times than I wish to admit, but hey at least I got out. When I say “got out,” I mean I let the scenario dissipate in a way. It’s a blessing. So this may all sound a bit confusing. What is she talking about, you might ask. I simply mean the good ole “love triangle.” In my case it has ended up being a love rhombus, hexagon, maybe even an octagon. All of the geometric shapes. And now, the good stuff begins.
We are going to take this all the way back to high school. I say that like those days were 10 years ago. It was only three years ago. I’m really not that old. Anyway, high school. I would like to say I was pretty social. I mean, I at least tried to be! The idea that no one person was better than another was kind of my philosophy. Standard, I suppose. Being able to talk to any and everyone was the goal. Check that one off the list. So throughout the years I conjured up a group of my peers that felt relatable. Most of them being boys. Girls are so annoying I don’t know how anyone puts up with us. Personally, I felt as though it was easier to be myself around guys. Not mad at it. Of course, there were some boys that were cuter than others, but all were just super rad people. I was warned that after high school the kind of “awkward guys” were the ones that surpassed the relatively small population of “cool guys.” I use the word surpassed in the sense of surpassing in looks, personality, and overall worth. Just being real here. Those people were so right. So here I am at 20-years-old being in complete awe of the tall lanky or awkwardly short guys that have transformed into pieces of art—in my eyes that is. It just so happens that they are all kind of friends. I guess they all gravitate towards each other. They definitely hype each other up on Instagram that’s for sure. Let’s say they are friends. I always had class with at least one of them. We would casually converse, exchange numbers for homework, and play it cool. An Instagram follow would come next. Then, a new snapchat friend. It has truly been a blessing watching theses transformations with my own two eyes. Because we were all chill with each other, we invited each other to graduation parties ,and that’s when you know you’re tight and it would probably stay that way.
Now that we are in college, we have all had a bit of a “glow up” as the kids call it these days. Thank the heavens above for that. With that being said, I believe that confidence has been built up too. In high school, it wasn’t “cool” for white guys to date a black girl. It was rarely seen. Sometimes I would get a white guy that would hit on me a bit, but then he would be too worried about what his friends would think so nothing ever came of it. It only upset me a little because white guys are so my type. Is having a type even a thing anymore? Anyway, I thought this might be my forever. I was mistaken greatly. We are in a new day and age and let me tell you ladies and gents, it’s freaking beautiful. Since being in college, I’ve had former guys from high school all DM and text me. I was flattered. Even more so, because they were cute as hell. I was thoroughly impressed. It started off with one guy, and once his friends heard that we were kind of “talking” in a way the DM’s, snapchats, and texts came rolling in. If you really think about it, it’s so messed up. Kind of makes me giggle because they so know what they are doing. Quite honestly, I think I’ve sort of caught feelings for like four of them. That’s pretty bad I know. But here I am. In the middle. My best friend always asks me what the hell I’m doing. I tell her I’m simply having fun. Gotta live life to the fullest, my dudes. I think there’s always a mutual understanding that it won’t ever really work out. You see, I was the one that got away. Not in the way that you think. Like I mean I left my home town. The one that literally left and got away. While everyone stayed at home, I’m out living my dreams in New York. So, for the time being these little “flings” are just for fun. When it begins to get too serious and feelings start accumulating, we dissipate. No hard feelings ever. I always like to say that if I still get a “can we hang out the next time you’re home?” text, then I’ve done it right. Friends, that’s all. It’s kind of like friends with benefits in a way? Less sexual obviously. I’m not really about all of that stuff. That’s for the better of all of us. All is fair in love and war I like to tell myself. Makes for a more sensible approach.
My advice to you all that condone in geometric shapes is simply this; have fun, keep it classy, and don’t stay in the middle. Go for a line, you know? Rock on.