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Getting Over Heartbreak

You can heal yourself.

By Hailey R.Published 6 years ago 2 min read
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Heartbreak is horrible. It seems like a wasteland or a bottom of a well with no ladder. We’ve all been there at some point in time, and as writer I feel like it is my duty to put into words what you yourself can’t always explain. During this awful time, you will no doubt hear advice, but you are also likely to have people that make you feel silly for being so sad. Everyone experiences heartbreak differently. Personally, I didn’t feel lonely; I felt empty. I felt like I had given everything I had in me; and in the end there was nothing left to give. I felt like I’d given my best but ended up being left at my worst. My chest felt heavy and there was a constant lump in my throat. The pain was extremely real physically and I was emotionally distraught. I just wanted to sleep all day and drink all night. I felt like I was constantly losing. There was this permanent sadness that lingered in the back of my mind.

I went through all the phases. I did what most people do—to ignore the pain but numbing it with temporary remedies. I tried to stay busy and that didn’t work. I tried to analyze the past to try and figure out what went wrong. I tried winning them back. I tried convincing myself I hated them. I literally tried every method possible to get over the heartbreak.

Then one day it hit me.

I was going to have to deal with it; and by “it,” I mean the unbearable pain. It was the only thing that I hadn’t done yet and I knew why. I was terrified to feel worse than I was already feeling. Ignoring the pain wasn’t working. Numbing wasn’t either. So I decided to dive into the pain head first.

I’m not going to lie. It was horrible. I sat in my apartment for three days and didn’t see anybody. I forced myself to go through the motions, while telling myself it was all normal. I forced myself to be alone because I didn’t want to hear any advice. I wanted to process every single debilitating emotion. I couldn’t even eat. On the fourth day, I woke up and didn’t cry first thing and sadly, that was progress for me. I had bawled my eyes out for three straight days. I felt even emptier than before. The thing is, I actually had a different outlook. I was able to think more clearly. I decided to map my way out of this wasteland. Honestly, I lied to myself all day long; just like I had been apparently doing my entire relationship and immediately post-breakup, but now the lies were more believable. I forced myself to smile, to dance around my apartment before work, to exercise, to eat better, to write more, to really focus on me. I had been shattered into so many little pieces that frankly, I wasn’t even sure I existed anymore. So I decided to put the pieces back together, but this time I was going to build someone stronger.

It was a painful journey and it took time, but I’m glad that I stopped looking for shortcuts. Now, I am more adept at navigating life and I’m more resilient. I realized that one day I would be completely healed, but would still have baggage. That was okay. I just built every day. I stopped believing that nobody was coming to save me, because that somebody was; and it was me.

breakups
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About the Creator

Hailey R.

Hello! My name is Hailey. I am a writer and published author! I am working on my second book but you can check out my first book, here: http://www.lulu.com/us/en/shop/hailey-riely/atelophobia/paperback/product-22341350.html

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