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Getting Through a Breakup

You'll be okay.

By EmPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Everyone goes through a few break-ups in their lives. It's not the end of the world. Yes, it may hurt sometimes, other times it doesn't. Sometimes you guys can stay friends (like me and my [ex]boyfriend), other times neither of you ever want to see each other again. Regardless of the situation, here are some things that can help you get through it.

  1. Give yourself a day to process everything that just happened. It may be a shock to you. You may have thought everything was going well and BAM, it was over. Let yourself think about everything that just happened. If you need to cry, go ahead. If you just want to be alone that night, go ahead (When my ex and I broke up, I walked home from his house because I needed time to think. It sucked but I knew I was/would be okay).
  2. Surround yourself with people who care about you. They will cheer you up and stick by your side every step of the way. Hopefully, they aren't those friends who say "(s)he ain't sh*t," because they aren't helping you. That honestly might just make it worse because, to you, they were everything you wanted in a person. They were the sh*t. Surround yourself with people who will tell you, "You'll be okay, we can go to..." and make an effort to take you out and see things so that you can start smiling sooner rather than later instead of letting you lock yourself in your room alone. Or be with people who will stay in with you, watch movies with you, and eat tubs of ice cream, if you want.
  3. Don't constantly message them. If you message consistently, you'll be thinking about where things went wrong and if you'd be able to work things out, even when you know you can't; even when you know it was for the best. Don't do it to yourself.
  4. Write, sing, talk—do something. When you feel a certain way, talk to someone about it, listen to music, write down your thoughts, do something. DO NOT just sit there feeling sorry for yourself.

Personal Experience Time

So, after my [ex]boyfriend and I broke up, I kept thinking whether or not I made the right decision. I continuously let him influence me into thinking I was wrong for doing so until I got to thinking and decided I shouldn't feel sorry for what I feel is right. Sometimes I talked to him and we would go into late night conversations and he would tell me how he felt and told me how he hated that I wouldn't give him this one last chance, but honestly, I didn't feel bad at all. I gave him chances, ya know? So why was I wrong for doing something that made me happy? Of course I still have love for him, but I don't have love for the relationship. I can't sit here and tell you guys I don't love him because that's a lie, but I don't love him as a boyfriend, and I definitely do not love the idea of being with him, or a future with him. I just can't do it to myself.

However, now I can talk to him and it's okay. We don't talk about feelings or anything. We talk about random things, just how we used to before we ever developed feelings for each other. We talk like we're best friends sometimes. He tells me things that are on his mind and I tell him what's on mine. We help each other, and it's good. It's not like we're going to ever date again, it's just nice being close with him and knowing that we are going to stay friends for a long time.

I think I'm already maturing, and having friends who tell me when I'm acting stupid is such a bonus. I have done so much in the short amount of time that I've been single and honestly, it's amazing. I'm going out and discovering who I am. I'm doing things I never thought I would've done. I have a new found confidence.

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Please guys, I'm begging you to remember that it'll be okay. It's not the end of the world. It's all going to play out just fine and you'll be perfectly sane in the end. You'll find the love of your life one day, you'll get married (if you want to), and have a bunch of beautiful babies (if you decide to). Don't let this control you and take over your thinking. You were somebody before you met them and you're still somebody.

If you guys ever want to talk about something, email me, find me on instagram, twitter, etc., and let's talk! :)

breakups
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About the Creator

Em

I'm doing my best.

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