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Girl Talk (Pt. 2)

My First Time

As I am sipping my first glass of wine of the day, I thought to myself, why not write about my first time. In my last Girl Talk, I talked about how I use online dating, well that wasn't my first time doing so, to be honest, all of the men I've dated I've met through a dating site. I'm here though to talk about my time of firsts, my first time on a dating site, my first time going on a date, my first time having sex, and yes this all happened with the first guy I met through the online dating app, OKCupid.

Let's go back to my first job, I had recently graduated from high school and I started working as a hostess. First few months, I've gotten pretty close with most of the waitresses, with one in particular, her name was Ashley, she would always tell me about her crazy dating experiences and the different guys that she has met. Well, one day I finally asked her where the hell she meets all these guys, without making her sound like she's some sort of "Call Girl," of course, and she tells me she's met them online on a dating site called OkCupid. Now I've known what online dating was, I mean we've all seen Catfish, but I hadn't ever actually met someone who has used one before, and this amazed me, it was like I was given the key to the universe or something. I didn't immediately hop on the online dating train because I was skeptical and scared, to be honest, but came fall, my first semester in college, and I did decide to create an account.

My first few weeks in college I felt quite lonely, it was such a big campus, there was a lot of people, and it was really hard to get acquainted with anyone as a commuter so, I turned to OkCupid to perhaps find a new companion. What fascinated me about this site it was how detailed oriented it was, when you create an account, you have to answer all these questions about yourself that you hadn't even thought about before like, "What are you good at," "What is something that sets you apart from other people," etc. This gave me the slight confidence that I would meet someone rather decent when reading their profile. Besides the self-summary about yourself, there are these other questions you answer that they use to "match you" with someone that has answered similarly to you, like if the question asked if "You're a serial killer" and you answered "No" and the other person says "No" as well, then you can feel a little relieved that you won't get killed on your first date. 

But I digress, given all these qualities about the app that ensures you're talking to someone that meets your interests, is what attracted me more towards trying out online dating. Again, this is all just a facade, you can't ever truly tell how a person is till you've had a physical interaction with them. I, of course, being the naive 18-year-old I was, I fell in deep and just started swiping my life away to find potential matches until one day I matched with Eli. Eli was "25" years old and you'll get why I put his age in quotations later on, he was a very handsome man, his picture immediately caught my attention, but his profile didn't have much to say about him which startled me for a while. I don't remember much how our first conversation went, but I do remember him commenting on my curly hair and comparing it to Robert Plant's hair, for those of you who do not know, he's the lead singer of the rock band Led Zeppelin. Now I am a big fan of classic rock music, so this was a clever and funny way to get my attention. So we hit it off right away, we had loads in common and he had a great sense of humor, but I was still a bit skeptical which is why I didn't let it go any further. I actually stopped using the app completely for a while whilst I was getting adjusted to the college/work life, therefore "ghosting" the guy. After a couple of weeks, once things have settled down, I decided to go back to the app and a few days after Eli saw I was online and decided to reach out again. Here it was where I thought if after a few weeks of not talking he's still interested I should at least give him a chance, that's when we exchanged numbers, planned for our first date, and my first date ever to be exact.

So yes, as an 18-year-old then this was going to be my very first date, with a man I met online, yeah, I'm clenching my teeth too. Even though my anxiety levels were through the roof that day and my introverted-self was just trying to think of a way to get away from meeting this "stranger," I pushed through it and got ready for the date. Now, we decided to meet for lunch at this nice Italian café, once we met the first reaction was, "Wow, he's tall" and "Thank God he looks like his pictures," but something seemed quite off and I couldn't put my finger on it upon the first impression. Either way, we sat for lunch, we shared meals as I had no idea what to eat, typical, and I was a total mess. I was having trouble getting my words out, I was heating up and getting all red, as I'm sure many people might've been on their first dates. He definitely noticed how nervous and anxious I was and told me to take some deep breaths, which was very sweet of him. As I brought my nervous levels down, I had a chance to look at him better, and I noticed how much older he looked than "25." I mean anyone can just look more mature than their age, I, for example, look much younger than my actual age, he, for all I know, could've been asking himself if I was even of legal age. I did ask him if he was really 25 and he didn't hesitate and said he was, and asked me if that was an issue with me, I said "No" and didn't really put too much thought into, but my gut was telling me to keep pushing it.


*Names have been changed to protect their identity.

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