Grindr and Pets Birds Don’t Mix Well

So I had just turned 18 and I had been using Grindr (a gay hookup app) just to peruse and look before I was of legal age, but now that I was old enough, I wanted to give it a real try. I was looking at and talking to some guys but there was one guy who caught my attention. He was a good looking guy (at least in his pictures). I sent him a message not expecting a response right away, but to my surprise he responded in 30 seconds.

After about five minutes of texting back and forth we decided so to meet for the "Hookup." I gave him my address and started preparing. Here's where things get tricky. I own a Blue and Gold Macaw who is very attached to me, so attached he screams mom when I leave the room. His cage was in my room because he and I are best friends...he's my child. So since he was in my room I needed to cover him up since he's protective over me. I found a sheet and covered his cage and he was immediately unhappy.

Now that the bird has been dealt with, I need to prepare myself. I was not about to make myself look all nice just to get hot and sweaty from sex so I put on some basketball shorts and a comfy tee. This guy was almost to my house, so I made my bed so I didn't look like I'm too trashy. I heard a knock on my door and immediately started freaking out. I walked to the door and took a deep breath. I opened the door and was greeted with a not so familiar face.

This dude barely looked like his photos, he was still cute but did not look like his pictures. I should have known. I invited him in and we went to my bedroom. He asked if I had protection, which I did because I was not about to get any sort of STD. He just took off his pants and got on his knees which was a surprise to me cause I thought he was a top. Luckily for me and him, I'm a verse bottom.

So we started to do the dirty deed and my bird started screaming. He didn't notice the giant cage (probably cause it was covered) and he was like, "What the hell is that!" and I apologized for not warning him. He was alright after the bird stopped screaming, but as soon as we started again the bird went on screaming. This dude apparently thought it was funny but I didn't, I was so embarrassed. We finished and before he left he said, "We should do this again," which was a lie, and he left.

I walked into my room and said to the bird, "I'm going to be forever alone because you scare people or scream at them."

His response was, "!MOM!"

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