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Grindr and the Trolls Who Dwell Within

This tea is hot, honey.

Grindr was a dating app created on March 25, 2009. Yes, you read that right. It was a "dating app." Crazy to see how almost 10 years later it's a pool of headless bodies, unwarranted penis pictures, scams, and Homophobic people.

Now, let me start off by saying, Grindr has been getting very open-minded with the diversity of the GBTQ (Lesbians haven't really been seen on the app and I don't believe Grindr caters to my Lesbian sisters) community by welcoming Transgender People onto the app; of course, I praise any Trans person who has the patience to deal with the mess that lurks within this app. There has even been rumors they're welcoming Heterosexual people onto the app, but given the past scandals they had involving Homophobes catfishing men to meet at a location then beating and robbing them, I'd say that would be a waste of time.

Now, I must begin by giving the quick info about this app.

Grindr is a free—or pay with subscription—app that is available on the Google Play store. It works on any phone, Android or iPhone. The app requires you to create an account using your Gmail email, which is much easier than creating fake emails to be discreet.

Once you let them know you're not a robot, you will upload a picture (that doesn't contain nudity), fill out a witty headline that tells what you're looking for, describe what you're looking for in your bio, decide what tribe you're a part of, whether it's Jock, Daddy, Twink, Trans, etc., then tell them your sexual role: Top, Bottom, Verse, Verse-Bottom, or Verse-Top (if you're looking for sex).

Okay, so once all that is over, you wait until the moderators accept your default photo and blam! You can start browsing through Grindr.

I've had Grindr on and off again on my phone for four years now. I know it sounds crazy since I have so much negative things to say about it, but truthfully, I'm a romantic!

I yearn to walk in the city and lock eyes with a really cute guy, but because we're walking in opposite directions we aren't able to speak. So I log onto the app and boom! He's the first face I see, so we chat on Grindr and years later he and I are married!

But this is reality and the locator on Grindr is less romantic and more creepy when you deal with the guys on there.

It is interesting however to see what neighbors are on Grindr, but other than that, Creepy!

While we fill out profiles indicating what we're looking for and selecting the choices of "Friends, Networking, Chatting, Dating, and Relationships," I expect to be met with men who are interested in that too. Instead I get met with the same questions: "Looking?" or "Can u host?" and it's annoying!

But push all that aside and let me tell you all about the types of Trolls—I mean Men—you'll encounter on Grindr.

The 'T' Birds

When you come across certain profiles, you will see things like:

"Looking To ParTy" or "LeT's Talk AbouT You." Either way, the 'T' in every word will be capitalized and the word 'party' will be seen more times than Tom Daley's bulge in every Gay media outlet.

When you notice these things, that means the user is looking for Crystal Meth or has Crystal Meth and is looking to "party" (get high) with someone.

These guys will literally talk in code and if you can pick up on the clues I've gave you, it will make navigating this app a little easier.

The Headless Horsemen

These are the guys who will send you messages cutting straight to the point. They want sex, head or naked pics ASAP! They claim they're the "Hottest Guy" in the world, yet they're hiding their faces, like a closeted guy hiding his love for Lady Gaga.

Not to mention, they want you to send them pictures of yourself, whether naked or clothed yet they don't share any pictures of themselves. It's weird in my book and a huge red flag. If you're chatting with someone who's hiding their face, run!

The Shallow Gang

Preferences, I know what the word means and I know we all have them.

My preferences? I like men who love to smile, are single when they flirt with me and who have goals in life. Everything else—for me—can be interpreted through chemistry.

But there are men on that app who make it known they aren't interested in "feminine men" or "fat men."

I get those are preferences, but if you're a muscular and masculine man and you find Feminine men "disgusting" or "vile," how are you moaning when you're being topped? I'm pretty sure your back is arched and you're calling him "daddy."

These guys, sadly, can be found off Grindr as well and here in the Gay Community.

Like the idiots who made the shirt in the above picture and the model wearing it who was clearly desperate to make money.

Those guys are usually the ones who live on Grindr, being miserable and alone.

Faceless Frank and Friends

Similar to the Headless Horsemen, "Faceless Frank and Friends" are men(?) who message you and want to converse, but then they ask you out. Then you ask for a picture (because who wants to talk to a faceless person online?) and when you do that, they get insulted, curse you out, and block you.

Just grand, isn't it?

The Racists

These guys sadly can be found off the app and living amongst us here in the Gay Community as well.

They are usually men who only want to chat with guys of a certain race. While it's mainly white guys looking for other white guys or white guys looking for black men because they have a big penis, it's usually worst when you experience it offline too.

The Gay community has enough crap we deal with, but having racist Gays is never a good look—and I don't care how much money your Sugar Daddy gives you, that is disgusting and vile! Racism isn't cute.

I have a very sharp tongue and I don't hold it back for anyone, there are times when guys try my patience and I have a snappy comeback in seconds.

For example, a few days ago someone messaged me:

"I'm looking for a Latino bottom that speaks when I tell it to. A bottom that answers questions when I ask it and a bottom that will tell me what I want to hear."

To which I replied back:

"Seems like you're looking for an Alexa, Echo, or Google."

And he blocked me.

But sadly, that message wasn't as bad as what other men had to endure like the one Twitter user @TEEZBabyCakes shared in 2017 after his experience chatting with a couple on Grindr after the Toledo Pride event.

Now keep in mind, it was a couple who was racist against this man. They could've said "no thank you" or blocked him; instead they wanted to show their racism to the whole world.

Well at least we know their white hoods are sitting nicely on the doorknob for the next Pride event.

Carbon Copies

These are the people who will steal your pictures off of Instagram or if you sent them pictures while they were under a different username, then they  use those pictures to create a new account and catfish someone with it.

I encountered one when I was in Manhattan one summer. I was browsing through and I saw a picture I posted to my Instagram months ago, I remember deleting it because I hated how my left eye looked—I'm weird I know—but somehow this person ended up having that picture as their default!

I wanted to catch them in a lie, so I took my default picture off and left it blank, citing that "I just created my account and the app is taking forever to upload it," so when they asked for a picture I just sent them a few of the model Travis DesLaurier—FYI it's that scarily easy to catfish someone on there so be warned!

They sent me pictures of my myself and it was like looking in a mirror at a fun house!

They had pictures of my graduation to which they said they graduated from NYU with a Bachelor's Degree in "Marketing." First off, I cannot afford to go to NYU so that was a lie that made me cringe. So they sent me a nude photo and it wasn't even mine! I don't send nudes out, so I knew they wouldn't know what my penis looks like; THEN they had the audacity to say they'll send me more nudes if I Paypal them money... how the heck were they going to send me nudes of myself that I never took?

I ended up reporting their profile and deleting the app for a few months just to wrap my head around that mess. Oy!

The Artificial Sugar Daddies

Meet Taylor M. Goldblatt. He's a "famous" YouTuber who claims he's rich as heck and people who work are "peasants." You may know him from being on the six o'clock news last year because he got robbed, or maybe recently from Twitter where he posted this disgusting rant on his Snapchat page:

Which Twitter users ate him up and caused his Instagram account to be shut down. But he's still making videos looking even more pathetic than before.

But he reminds me a lot like "Artificial Sugar Daddies." Those are the Gays who take pictures of themselves wearing designer clothes or expensive (costume) jewelry or posing in front of a fast car; only to find out:

Unwarranted Nudies

This is a problem I face CONSTANTLY on Grindr!

If you follow me on Twitter (@EdwinBWriter) you might see screenshots of guys I come across on Grindr (names and faces are always protected—though I may call out how stupid our conversation is, I will never out anyone).

If I had a dollar for every unwarranted nude I've seen, I'll be able to afford four years at NYU.

These are men who don't message "Hello, how are you?" first, oh no! They just upload their Pecker or Butt as if they're auditioning for a Randy Blue role (which the Racists would benefit from since a majority of Gay and Gay For pay Porn actors are racist; a different post on that!).

Then when I politely say "Sorry I'm not interested" they go on a full length rant on how I'm a "pathetic Gay who is confusing Grindr with Tinder..." says the men who confuse Grindr with porn.

Question Marks Marty

These guys sit on the sofa with the app on their phone 24/7. They'll ask you a question and you reply, you converse with them, then they ask you another question but your life gets busy for that moment so you don't respond quickly.

Instead of waiting, they reply with "?"... "???"... "??????" only three minutes apart!!!!

That irritates me to the Nth degree!

This one guy got angry with me and asked, "You talking to other guys behind my back?"

And I hand to send him a picture of my hand because I didn't see a ring on it.

"Gay Just for Today" Guys

These are the men that want to experience a Gay fling for just one night. They think that we can "suck" better than their girlfriends and they assume a "hole is a hole" unaware they're being an "a-hole."

They're also the same ones in loving relationships or marriages with Cis Women but they want to just experience a man behind their significant others' back.


These are just some of the Creatures that dwell in the magical land known as Grindr, and hopefully this guide of sorts, have helped you avoid them at all costs.

And just like any app, do not give personal information to strangers!

Do not give your address to strangers!

Do not put yourself in danger and always be vigilant about who you chat with online as well as who you send pictures to!

Grindr is flawed beyond belief, but if you have a pure heart don't lose hope on finding that Mr. Right.

After all, you have to kiss a few frogs before finding your Prince... or in this case, chat with a few frogs.

Edwin Betancourt
Edwin Betancourt

Edwin is a published writer, author & poet from the Bronx NY. He has been writing since the age of 14 and hasn't stopped since. His dream is to write television shows or movies telling stories that people in all walks of life can enjoy.

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