So by now I'm assuming you've watched my video on why ghosting is a good thing. But what's NOT so good about ghosting is being the victim of getting ghosted. It just feels so CRAPPY!
When you get ghosted, you may have all these questions running through your head. Stuff like: "Gee. Maybe I shouldn't have told that long-winded story about my ex." You're right, you definitely should NOT have! Or if you're a guy, you might be thinking: "Huh. Maybe I shouldn't have accepted her offer to split the bill." Well, DUH! Ok, I'm saving that for a whole other video.
So what CAN you do when you get ghosted!?
1. Give yourself a time frame.
The WORST thing you could do when you get ghosted is to sit around for months on end, wallowing in your own misery and wondering what went wrong. Give yourself a time frame, and once that time is up, it's time to MOVE ON.
Now obviously everyone works on a different time frame. But for me, if I haven't heard from a guy for a week or two, he's dead to me. Ok, maybe he's not ACTUALLY dead, but he certainly won't get another date with me.
Now just in case he DID decide to come out of the woodwork months later, I would've already given up on him because he had expired my time limit.
Now this may sound a little harsh to you, but that's because I've mastered number 2...
2. Don't take it personally.
Learning to NOT take things personally is a really great life tip, ghosted or not. The truth is that a person's actions towards you has very little to do with you and more to do with what's going on inside of them.
The third you should do (or not do rather!) when you get ghosted is:
3. Don't demand to know WHY.
When you get ghosted it's super easy to go down that slippery slope of thinking "What went wrong?" You might think: "Gee, if I had only lost 20 pounds before I started dating again, things might have worked out better." STOP second guessing yourself and your decisions. I don't have to tell you that regret is a tremendous waste of energy.
This can be a really hard rule to stick to, but the truth is there are some things you CAN'T or WON'T change for someone you just met.
Let's say that you do demand to know why a certain guy ghosted you and he tells you that he can't stand your best friend and he hates your cats. Are you going to go and get a new best friend and get rid of your fur babies for some dumb guy that you went on a few dates with? Well, ARE YOU? Of course not.
But the good news is that the right guy for you will love you AND your bestie and will feed your cats and take care of them just like they were his own.
THANK YOU so much for watching this week's episode. As usual, if you have a question you'd like me to answer, send me an email [email protected]
Remember, no matter who you are, YOU deserve to have LOVE in your life!