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He Loves Her; He Loves Her Not

Triggers: Controlling Relationship, Suicide

By Danni GreerPublished 7 years ago 5 min read
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Her name was Maria and she was a good sister. She was a strong person who could do anything she ever wanted to do if she put her mind to it and pushed herself. There's a song from an old musical that goes "How do you solve a problem life Maria?" That song was a good fit for her, in most ways. She was stubborn and refused to let anyone tell her what was and wasn't possible. She smiled often and laughed loudly. She sung like her life depended on it and never took no for an answer. She dreamed big and her family knew she could do it. She had never been in love before. She was 17 and on her way up, but that was before him.

His name is Shawn. He is ex-navy with PTSD. He is still married to a woman he had been separated from for years. He jumps from job to job every few months. He's short but strong armed. He gets angry, but he can smile and laugh and chat with people like it's no big deal. He drank a lot, which was no surprise. He had big dreams, but never really tried for them. He had small prospects and small dreams. He was 25 and stuck on the bottom when he met her.

They met at a play. Maria had gone with her mother to rehearsal where Shawn was playing a small part. Maria and Shawn talked, though no one can say what about. After that first time, Maria went with her mother to rehearsal every chance she got. Their first date was in late October. They seemed good together, though her family was worried. She skipped out early at Thanksgiving to go to his family's celebration, and her parents let her. She did the same thing at Christmas.

Her family would talk when she wasn't there.

"He seems nice," her mother said, while watching the car pull away, doubt creeping into her voice.

"We've seen wider age gaps," her father mused, though even he would admit that it was strange that she was still in high school and he was already out of the military.

"I'm giving him a chance," her older sister Alice sighed, her eyes filled with dread, a story from her college minister playing through her head.

"He has to earn my trust," her twin sister Becky hissed, crossing her arms covered in drawings. Her little brother didn't talk. He didn't know what was wrong.

Maria didn't smile as much. She didn't sing as loudly. She pulled farther away from her family, though they were begging for her to stay. She had planned on going on a trip around the Mediterranean after she graduated high school, but she pulled out of that too. Spring came and the final straw broke.

Alice was graduating from college in the first week of May. The whole family was supposed to go. Maria didn't want to. She wanted to stay for school and for Shawn. She yelled and threatened and cried. The morning they were meant to leave, she was already gone. It was a rough weekend for her family.

"She wouldn't have done this just a year ago," Becky snapped.

"How could she do this?" Alice cried, on what was meant to be a happy day. The rest of the family was silent, though they agreed. A deal was set up.

"She wants to be an adult, then she'll be one," her father growled, though he was more sad than angry.

When they got home, there was a fight. It peaked when Maria stormed out. She called Shawn and left with him, for good. To this day she hasn't lived under her family's roof again. That was the big tip for the family about their relationship. Becky never trusted Shawn again. Alice, though two years have passed, is still stinging from Maria's betrayal. Her parents cried and cried.

The past two years were hard. Becky was the only one Maria would even talk to for months. Maria got worse and worse. She once called Becky, at one thirty in the morning, drunk and crying, unable to cope. Three weeks after that she attempted to take her own life. But still she stayed with him. She blamed everyone else in the world for her actions. She even blamed herself. Family relationships stayed rocky and fluctuating, except for with Becky.

They were supposed to get married last June, but he called it off. She cried and left, but, after just a week and a half, she went back to him. They rescheduled the wedding for this coming July, but have called it off again. She said it was just too much work to be done. She didn't mention that Shawn still isn't technically divorced or that they couldn't find a pastor or priest willing to do the wedding for the second time in a row.

Maria is her name. She's closed and secretive. Her sisters just try to keep up with her and keep her safe, despite her protests that there's nothing wrong. She's either left or been left twice, but she always went back to Shawn. All the deeds are in his name, though her money is what keeps them theirs. Her only source of transportation was his car for the longest time, and it is again. Shawn's needs come first, not Maria's. She doesn't smile very much, and she hasn't sung for a while. She is in love with him, if you can call it love.

His name is Shawn. He smiles to her family, then keeps her away from them. He talks behind their backs spouting hateful things and trying to convince her that he is the better option. What he wants is what she wants. He drinks as often as he's home. He doesn't hit her or threaten her, but he doesn't have too. He preyed on her when she was young. He can control her without physical abuse.

"I wish she would come around with out him," Alice begs. She offers whatever she can to her sister, though Maria rarely accepts.

"I hope she's staying safe," her mother and father pray. They help Maria wherever they can, though she would never admit it.

"I don't trust him," Becky says, "he's hurt her too many times before." She tries to keep inviting Maria to events and talks to her as much as possible, hoping to show her that Shawn shouldn't control her.

Maria is in a controlling relationship, and those she's closest too can see it. Those reading this can see it from the family's eyes. Maria is a victim, but she doesn't know it. She doesn't know that her family is scared for her safety, for her freedom.

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About the Creator

Danni Greer

I'm from Virginia as a genderfluid person. I write poems, stories, and personal essays trying to deal with stuff I face every day. If you like what you read, please consider supporting me on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=18960818

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