My best friend is a guy. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a guy. Yes, we ARE just friends. Nothing more. I know it’s hard to believe, because there is a ridiculous stigma surrounding male/female friendships. How in the world are we friends that hang out and talk every day without hooking up or being in a relationship? Well for us, that’s how it is, and that’s how it works.
Before I get too far into this, I have a confession: I did like this guy when I first started to notice him. By notice him, I mean when I first started going to my current church, I never really payed attention to him. One day, while he was up front singing (yes, he sings, plays bass/acoustic guitar, piano, etc.), I really started to see that I found him… well… attractive. It was that instant infatuation kind of thing, where your heart speeds up every time you see him and your face lights up (even if you’re actively trying to hide it). I was apparently so obvious with it that not only family knew I liked him, but a few members of our church started to realize it as well.
To make a very long story short, this guy came to my house to look at my car that needed some work (he’s an excellent mechanic, and a member of our church recommended him when I was having problems). That was interaction number one. We didn’t really talk that much, because as you can imagine I was extremely nervous and awkward. A few days after that, he actually added me on Snapchat (more on that next, and don’t worry, it’s all PG content).
So we got to the point where we were talking every day. I learned he doesn’t really text a lot, so Snapchat is his go-to form of communication (seriously, he talks to his own brothers mainly on Snapchat). Another long story short: I had feelings for him, he was dating a girl, told me we were just friends, I accepted it, and we still talked just as much every day and became very close friends anyway. Fast forward a year (in other words, 365 days on that all important snapstreak), and we’re still extremely close friends, he’s my closest friend actually. We talk a lot during the day, share a sense of humor (mostly through sending memes and telling horrible jokes/puns), and hang out often to do things anywhere from having dinner and seeing movies to going to Starbucks. Again, it probably sounds weird to you, but our friendship is strictly platonic. The only reason I’m not using the adage about him being “like a brother” is because I had feelings for him at the beginning, and it admittedly creeps me out to say that.
The point of me writing this is to tell you we are one of the success stories of being just friends. His current girlfriend knows about me, and if I were to get into a relationship, my boyfriend would definitely know about him. I’m not sure about his point of view on relationships vs. friendships, but I know that if a potential boyfriend can’t accept us being friends, then I know he isn’t right for me. It isn’t about not understanding a potential boyfriend’s point of view, but it is about trust. In my opinion, a guy should be able to trust me when I say, “Hey, he’s just a friend, that’s all we ever have been, and I’m telling you this up front to be honest.” I know I’m being truthful, and let’s be honest, I wouldn’t be looking for a boyfriend if we were anything more than that.
Your opinions and beliefs may differ from mine on this subject, and that’s ok. For anyone reading this wondering if it’s worth keeping an opposite gender friend, my advice is, absolutely. They can bring a different prospective to your life, and, in the case of having a male best friend, you know you’ll always have a fierce protector, a shoulder to lean on, and if you’re lucky, a lifelong partner in crime.