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Getting your heartbroken sucks. The worst thing? Everyone says it will heal with time. That's also the worst thing, time. No matter what I do the day always ends the same way, with time. Time has never been or never will be on my side. Time with heartbreak? Ouch. No matter what they say I know the pain is still there. Where my heart once was well, now it is in a million pieces. I can not seem to put my heart together again. I feel pathetic. How could I ever let him get to me so much. The worst part is I barely knew him. But you all know when you're a girl and you have all these fantasies in your head about what it could be what it should have been. No matter what people will say about time it will always hurt. I remember how he touched me. The most innocent touches but my breathing seemed shaky. He never kissed me. I'd be lying if I never thought about it but I have. I feel embarrassed, why can't he just leave my mind. I'm heartbroken.
I talked with him so much about what I want in life. His whole body facing me his hands holding my hands. My heart seemed to jump. I couldn't believe how he made me felt. This feeling was different it was addictive. I guess he could tell how he made me feel that's why he left. I hear my heart pounding I wonder if he can hear it too. He smiles and my heart skips a beat. I start having fantasies in my head about what he would feel like his skin against mine. I blush and look down his gaze still fixed on me. My legs feel like jello weak and sluggish. His hands still in mine somehow I can feel him smiling. Yet my heart is still broken.
His eyes looked into mine. I was curious how he would feel alone. I knew it was wrong. I couldn't help it. He told me I was beautiful and he really liked me. He talked with me about the future. He said he wanted me to meet his parents. I guess it was stupid. But, being a Christian girl you hope for that sort of guy. Not just one that will lead you into his room even if it is on the back of your mind. Finally, I said to myself a guy who really really cares. I thought he was different being a godly man. I guess not. My heart skipped a beat. Hoping he'll pick up the phone and call or text? Maybe he is just busy I say to myself. I keep reimagining that night. How could I miss him? I barely knew him. Yet I couldn't get him out of my mind. I was heartbroken.
He talked about how my hands were so small and fit perfectly in his. I smiled as I imagined holding his. I bit my lip as his hands touched mine. He never moved it. That was a good sign right? His feet touched mine he never moved them I guess that was good too. He liked me I thought. I look back and think, "you stupid girl." He never liked you. This won't turn into anything. Somehow I was right because I'm still heartbroken.
Fairy tales don't exist that's why they call them fairy tales.