Humans is powered by Vocal creators. You support Paula Alicia by reading, sharing and tipping stories... more

Humans is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.

How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.

How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.

To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.

Show less

Hello! My Name Is Paula and I Am a Love Avoidant

Give me a chance to explain 🙏🏽

Badass female

Not only am I a love avoidant called Paula, but I'm also am a badass female to boot.

Oh wow! No wonder she is single, some might say, and I agree. But first, let me explain myself a bit...

"What is a Love Avoidant?" some of you may ask. Since reading about the affairs of the heart, I have come across a few definitions of the said way to see love and relationships.

The first definition I randomly Googled was... Love Avoidance is the systematic putting up of walls in a relationship to prevent feeling emotionally overwhelmed by another person. Consequently, it prevents real intimacy. The avoidant person perceives love as being an obligation or an emotional drain.

By now some of you may be thinking she sounds like an icy and unemotional person but let me present a different definition from a great Blogger Kris Gage...

"Most Love Avoidants aren't actually afraid of love. They're not afraid of intimacy, it's not actually connection and companionship they are running from. They just see and define love differently and have a low tolerance for bullshit."

Even though I feel the definition from Kris Gage describes me to the tee, I also see myself in the Google definition.

Why do I feel like this? Have I been hurt in the past? Am I damaged in some shape or form? The answer is no to all three questions.

The need to be in a relationship has never been at the forefront of my mind. The desire to be surrounded by people wasn't there either. I have always found solitude very comforting and healing. 

Don't get me wrong I am still a high functioning female and have a very high sex drive (that's another story entirely). Interestingly, when I do socialise some would describe me as the life and soul of the party. I live in the moment and the moment lives in me until it is time to shut off and recharge as it were.

Could that be the key to my lack of companionship need? Whenever I do interact with others it is very intense and my energy stores deplete quicker than others, so my alone time is a must.

My parents have been married for over fifty years, so I knew growing up what a healthy marriage or relationship looked like. But looking back I knew the traditionally coming together of two people was not for me.

So in conclusion, what is my diagnosis? Am I a cold-blooded badass female who protects her inner self by any means necessary? Or am I predisposed to have minimal contact with people for too long?

I am definitely not cold blooded... I am incredibly warm :)

Whatever the reason, I feel we should all lead the lives we truly want (to a certain degree) without hurting others. If I really am a Love Avoidant or have less tolerance for bullshit then, either way, I am happy, and if The Universe sends someone to match my madness, then I will gratefully accept her gift.

Be happy people

Love and Light xx

Paula Alicia
Paula Alicia

Hey guys! 🙌🏽

My name is Paula Alicia and I started blogging in February and I am in the process of setting up my own Healing Touch Therapy business.

I am very excited to part of Vocal and I look forward to interacting with you all

Paula

Now Reading
Hello! My Name Is Paula and I Am a Love Avoidant
Read Next
Relationship Advice