His Silence..

Do you ever look at someone and think that they could be the one? Or look at someone and think that you want them in your life for as long as you live?

There was a girl I knew, who thought that about the man she was dating. To her, he seemed perfect. She knew he had his flaws, but she looked past them. There were times when he would do something which resulted in him emotionally hurting her, but she would brush it off. There were times when he would force her to do something she didn't want to. Even times where he forgot the most important details about her. They had just started dating and so she didn't seem too annoyed or upset with the way he was.

They were living in 2 completely different worlds. Her, trying to complete school and get her degree. Him, trying to become a professional fighter, without a back up plan. She would often go out of her way to see him, but he made no effort when it came to him seeing her. He would tell her he was too busy, or couldn't make it, he always had excuses. No matter what happened, she was always willing to go out of her way to see him.

There was a time I remember her specifically telling me. He went to go practice fighting and called her to come watch. It was the first time he had asked her, so she went. She ended up getting lost on her way and walked over an hour in the cold, winter weather, to go see him. Unfortunately, when she arrived the only words that escaped his mouth were, " I couldn't focus because of you, why couldn't you come on time?" She explained to him what happened and all he said was, "I almost lost because of you." He seemed rather annoyed with the fact that he almost lost. He didn't care that she got lost, at all. Later that night, she called me and told me what happened earlier that day. I was worried about her. The boy, she was with, was not living up to the standards she needed in a partner. He shunned her for being the way she was, he would laugh at her for things like wearing make up or putting her hair a certain way. She was blinded by trying to love him, past everything he had said or done.

But there came a point in this relationship 2 months in. He unusually became very silent. It was his silence that broke her heart. On normal days, he wouldn't talk to her. Some days they didn't exchange a single sentence. She felt alone even when she was with him. The change in his behavior slowly started attacking her insecurities. She didn't feel worthy enough to be with him. "Is that why he ignores me?" She thought, "am I not good enough for him?" She didn't think she was. The insecurities she faced ultimately led her to; leaving him. She thought that she was doing him a favor by leaving him. Although she was broken, she wrote her hearts ache, pain, and tears away. She confessed how she felt on paper. She still loved him, no matter what he did or said. Regardless he didn't care enough about her. So, putting her feelings aside, she left him. It was his silence that made her think that; she was not good enough for him. It was his silence that made her leave. It was his silence that broke her.

I think it was for the best though. He was toxic, and she didn’t deserve that.