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His Story

Men Feel Pain Too

By K JPublished 5 years ago 4 min read
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I am sick of asking,

"Why do I, have to pay for his mistakes"?

Haley, why do we always have to fight? Like, am I not good to you?

When you and I first met, I knew you were going to be my wife and mother of my children. So that day I made up my mind, that I was going to be the best man I could be.

When you told me about your ex-boyfriends, my heart broke for you. The first few months of us being together were amazing, and I thought we were doing great. Next thing I know, a few months after you changed. You started going through my phone, and questioning me about my social media. Asking questions like "Why are you liking her pictures"? "Who is that calling your phone"?

It was like a light came on, and you started seeing things that weren't there. I told you back then "everything is okay, I'm here for you." But your ass didn't believe it.

Do you remember our six month anniversary? You started asking, to move in with me and I wasn't feeling it. My reaction must've hurt your feelings, because you walked out and didn't talk to my for three days. After those three day of not talking, you some how talked me into believing that us moving in together would change everything. You would be able to trust me more, and the crazy would stop. Being in love with you, and wanting you to be happy, I agreed.

One month later. You were throwing my damn Xbox in the bathtub full of water, and you had cut up my favorite pair of shoes. You had broken five iPhones, and you busted the windows out of my car. All of this because, I went out to play ball.

You were on some crazy shit, and some times now you still are.

Yelling at me for going into work early or staying to late. Telling me, I can't hangout with my friends or go to see my mother. You have convinced yourself, I am just like your exes and everything I do is just like them.

Today is our one year anniversary, and I am sick of this! I am sick of fighting with you. I am tired of defending myself, about stuff I didn't do. I'm tired of you crying, just to get your way. Stop telling me, if I truly loved you I would stay. We have been kicked out of The Cheesecake Factory, because you wanted to fight the waitress and all she did was ask if I wanted a refill. Now we can never go back!

We are forever, talking about your feelings and all the problems you have. Yet you never ask, about me or my problems. Like, why do women do that? Why do y'all, seem to think that men can't be hurt or in pain?

"Fine Brandon, get it all off you chest. You seem to believe, that I'm crazy and not understanding. So go on! Pour out your heart and soul to me."

See that shit, that sarcasm! That mess pisses me off. You're not the only one with a story. See I became a father at 16, then at 19 I found out the baby wasn't mine. I had one girl, who had sex with my best friend. I push that pain down all the time. I never made next girl, pay for the shit the past girl did. I had one ex that use to get drunk, and would beat my ass. I could never tell anyone about that. If you want me to get deeper, I can. When I was six years old, my mother's best friend molested me until I was ten years old. Every woman that has come into my life, has hurt me in one way or another. Yet I still give you, every single piece of me. I started out loving you, with no fears but now fear is all I see. You keep telling me, how much you have been hurt... but hell I have been hurt too. Does anyone care about the man's pain or the things we go through? Funny thing is, if I was to walk away from this relationship, because you are acting crazy, I become apart of that long list of men, who has done you wrong. You make me a liar, because your actions push me away. You make my words empty, because you never believe anything I say. You make me the bad guy, even though I'm really good. You tell your friends, all our problems and for real I knew you would. As I stand here, you look at me as if I'm crazy or like you don't believe what I say. Men have problems, we hurt and cry. We have heart breaks, and break downs. We ask ourselves why. Women say "It's no good men, out here!" But have y'all, even asked yourselves why?

Haley I love you, but I no longer be that guy. The guy you run over and treat like trash. I love you, but I can't do this anymore.

To be continued...

-Kj

breakups
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About the Creator

K J

My name is Kj & I enjoy being creative, and sharing my stories and experiences with people. I know my words have power, and I want to use them to help. As a writer I have the opportunity,to share my words and that can change a life.

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