Humans is powered by Vocal creators. You support Mylyn Cal by reading, sharing and tipping stories... more

Humans is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.

How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.

How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.

To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.

Show less

His Words Say "I Love You," His Actions Say "I Don't"

How do they get us to keep ignoring the red flags that tell us they never truly loved us?

Photo by Coline Haslé on Unsplash

His words say "I love you" but his actions say "I don't." Ladies, we have all been there at one point or another in our lives and let's be honest... it SUCKS.  He sweet talks you, makes you feel like you are the most important person in his world, but never actually SHOWS it. Then when he is done playing his game it is like you no longer exist; he has moved on to another woman and all those words and promises meant absolutely nothing.  So why do we keep falling for it? Why is it so hard for us to tell when a man doesn't mean it when he claims that he loves us? Because men like that have been playing this game long enough; they have learned how to keep it going for longer than it ever should have been allowed to.  Here are a few of the reasons I know of we will ignoring  the red flags screaming at us " HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU" and keep going hoping that  we are wrong and it's all in our heads, that he actually does love us and we are just being paranoid.

He says he loves me all the time.

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

One reason we overlook a lot of potential red flags in a relationship is because he says "I love you." Just because he says it does not mean he means it. It's like the way you say I love candy... you like candy a lot but you don't actually LOVE candy.  If he is saying "I love you" yet every time you turn around he is hitting on other girls, or having an full blown affair repeatedly, HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU, he just knows that you will forgive him because it has worked for him in the past. If he is hitting you, stealing from you, making you feel self conscious about your appearances, looking down on you, making you feel stupid... honey, that's not love. Don't let him saying "I love you" blind you to  his actions. He needs to show it if he is gonna say it. 

He tells me I am beautiful.

Photo by on Unsplash

He says you are beautiful, that everything about your face and body is absolutely perfect and he thinks about you all the time. Well, if he is running around sexting or having physical  relations with other women on the side, ask yourself... how beautiful and perfect can he actually think I am? If he is gonna go chasing every skirt that comes his way, odds are he has used that line on some or all of them as well. It's not love he is just trying to get in your pants. They know that if you don't like the way you look, telling you that they think you are beautiful increases the chances of them getting in your pants and that is probably all he cares about if he is chasing other women while he is supposed to be with you. Another sign this is a load of bull is that even though he says you are beautiful and perfect etc... he never wants to be seen out in public with you. He never wants to go anywhere public with you, have any of his friends or family see you, and every time he comes over or you go to see him  all he wants is a booty call. 

He talks about "the future."

Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash

This one is like their ace card. They will talk about the future, but never show any indication of there actually going to be a            "future." He says he wants to get married, he wants to be with you forever, yet he never does anything to make that happen. He won't discuss decisions that need to be made to make it happen. When you bring it up or make a comment about anything to do with it he will change the subject or ignore you altogether. However, when he thinks you are drifting away and catching on to the fact that he has no real intentions of building a future with you, he will suddenly want to talk about it at great length. The moment that he thinks you have calmed back down and everything is alright, it will go right back to never wanting to make any concrete plans.  

He texts, calls, and chats with you all the time.

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

You may think that since he texts, calls, instant messages, Snapchats, FaceTimes, and chats with you every day that means he is really into you. But think about it... how many of those texts, FaceTimes, and chats are him asking for nudes? How many of the calls are him asking for phone sex? When he is chatting with you is it actual conversation or is the main topic just sex? Has he mentioned you at all on his profile or do you not exist on his page except on his friend list? Does he send you dick pics even when you asked him not to or said you were not in the mood? If your online and phone conversations are almost always based around sexual content  there isn't much of a relationship because he is thinking with his  downstairs brain instead of his upstairs brain. This, paired with some of the above things, can lead to you thinking the guy really likes you then he starts ignoring you, not answering messages even though it shows that he has read them, and not having contact with you in any way shape or form. The next thing you know, you log into social media five days later and he has on his profile that he is in a relationship with another woman. Not a word to you, no explanation, nothing. He might even go as far as to message you WHILE supposedly in a relationship with the new woman  and act like nothing happened at all. This is a very clear sign he never really cared about you you were just something to pass the time until he got someone else. Nothing more than a game to him.

It's not the end of the world.

Photo by Bart LaRue on Unsplash

You might be sad once he is gone but just remember it is not the end of the world. You will find someone who loves you... truly loves you. And when you do you won't have to question if he means it or not because you will know when he says "I love you" he means it. When he talks about the future he genuinely wants one, when he says your pretty he really believes that.  The others that just used those things to hide the fact they didn't love you were fools and it was their loss not yours. Let them play their childish games because you will find true love, and be happy. You can do it; just believe in yourself, and don't let the idiots of the past ruin your future.

Now Reading
His Words Say "I Love You," His Actions Say "I Don't"
Read Next
A Date in Autumn