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Dating often becomes a controversial topic thanks to its different forms. Some prefer dating only locals, while others aim at dating single Russian ladies. Some people nowadays observe international online dating as some kind of betrayal of national interests. While there are a lot of representatives of Generation X on online dating services, there’s no surprise that online dating mainly attracts those who were born during the rapid development of computer and internet—representatives of Generation Y and Z, AKA millennials.
A lot has been said about millennials in general and their dating habits in particular. Mainly, they are observed as irresponsible and immature. But what are the reasons for their immature dating habits? Turns out that a lot can be blamed on parenting methods of baby boomers. So, let’s check out how baby boomers’ parenting methods made adulthood and traditional dating pattern so hard for millennials.
Millennials Got Used to Being Scheduled
Usually, the first two decades of the life of a millennial look like that—they are successful at school, they are successful in college, they are successful at the university, and then they start feeling absolutely lost. That’s because their life had been scheduled by their parents and schools. When it comes to organizing themselves, millennials find that extremely hard. They often face problems at their jobs and in their relationships, because of that, as there is simply no one who can come and organize their work or their relationships for them.
They Feel an Extreme Need for Praise
Baby boomers brought up their kids with the understanding that “everyone is a winner,” even if you are just trying to do something. While mostly such a parenting method can be encouraging, it mostly led to millennials feeling the need for praise. They need a ribbon or a medal just for trying. Needless to say that they are feeling lost in the world, where you can mainly get praise for actual achievements, rather than just trying.
They’ve Been Taught That They Can Be Anything
Quite a nice way to teach someone that there’s no single choice, and if you failed in something, you shouldn’t take it as the end of the world; you can try yourself in something else. But when you overdo it, you get millennials who find it extremely difficult to figure out what they want to do and whom they want to be. That’s why they are constantly swapping jobs. That’s why they are constantly switching relationships. What was meant as a mean of showing them that you can set multiple goals and be able to succeed in one thing while failing in another in order not to see failure as some kind of a catastrophe led to millennials not taking anything serious. Why taking something serious, knowing that if you are going to fail in it, you can try something else? Why putting much effort into something, when you know that you can fail in it, and then move on to doing something else? And that’s why millennials often don’t take their jobs and their relationships that serious.
They Don’t Know How to be Sincere with Each Other
Sincerity is the highest measure of trust, and therefore, this quality in the family must be valued and cultivated properly. Millennials are not taught to be grateful for the truth, but they are often offended by it. It seems to them that it is better to keep silent than tell the truth as they think that this can be bad for relationships. In other words, millennials are not taught that silence is a time bomb: at first, everything is good, but in one moment, an explosion will almost certainly occur.
Parents Didn’t Set a Good Example for Children
It is no secret that the appearance of children is a great test for spouses. In addition, the reason for this is as follows: whatever a husband and a wife do in the presence of their child will be unconsciously absorbed like a sponge, thereby forming the personality and destiny of a child. Most baby boomers didn’t understand that “doing nothing” is also a process. Millennials grow up and think that there is no need to pay special attention to relationships. They don’t understand that special sensitivity, responsiveness, and kindness are important in a healthy relationship.
Millennials Can’t Handle Their Emotions
Baby boomers often unknowingly teach their children to be ashamed of emotions and suppress them. But, it is important to teach children to handle their emotions. Many psychological problems in adulthood are associated with the emotional problems of childhood. Millennials think that they will be scolded for manifestations of emotions. That is why they can’t explain what they feel in relationships.
They Don’t Know How to Cope with Failures
Every human life consists of failures and victories. But it is important to teach a child to cope with defeats, experience them, and go further. It is necessary to prepare children for the fact that they cannot be the first all the time, and there is nothing wrong with that. If parents don’t teach it their children, it often brings suffering and causes them to break down in adulthood. Millennials in relationships don’t understand that they can be imperfect and that they will receive partner’s love and acceptance in spite of everything.
Another trap of the millennial generation is that the availability of communication creates fear of cheating and unhealthy encroachment on the personal space of a loved one. On this basis, there is jealousy and a desire to control each other. Such paranoia spoils the life of all family members. However, it is not always groundless, because it is easier to find sex for one night on the Internet than in life—all you have to do is register on the right site under a false name and write “hello.” And if you don’t want to leave the house, you can share intimate photos or flirt on Skype. The main thing is that there is no need to solve family problems when you can enter another life with one click of the mouse and get there everything that is lacking at home. This is the result of that parents don’t control their children and let them spend all their time on the Internet.
Another misunderstanding arises when the first flame of passion subsides and satisfaction comes to replace it. Many millennials in this period make a classic mistake—instead of spending time with a partner, developing, and moving forward, they spend time on the Internet comparing their lives with photos of friends. Of course, the embellished achievements of friends hurt their self-esteem. Millennials lose joy, become irritable and depressed, transferring these feelings to the family. It spoils relationships and leads to quarrels and disharmony.
Reluctance to Start a Family and Have Children
Finally, the last effect of baby boomers on dating habits of millennials is that it is difficult for them to bind themselves with serious obligations by entering into a lifelong relationship. They are too selfish and self-centered to spend energy not on achievements, but on caring for loved ones. Many people choose professional self-realization, creativity, sport, money—anything but love! They don’t understand how pleasant it is to achieve goals with a partner, supporting each other because they don’t see it as a pattern in their families.