How I Got Over My First Real Friendship

She was it all. She was my long lost sister, mother, and best friend all in one body. We knew everything about each other, we spent everyday with each other, and we never let our attitudes get in the way of it. We were the typical best friends anyone could think of. We had matching tattoos together. We even picked each other up to go to Walmart together and then go home.

There were our times. The times where she would get jealous because I couldn't make time for her, or the other way around. It was hard and it honestly felt like a relationship. Without all the other things, of course. She was my absolute best friend, until one day, it all went downhill.

She fell for him. How? Why? Why him? My... Ex. How is that fair?

It was embedded in my mind for days. How could she want him, after I spent three years of my life with him. She knew how hurt I was. She knew how mad I was at him. I kept asking myself, "Why?" I never thought something like this could have happened. I trusted her with everything I had in me. On top of it all, we're graduating high school next week! Why would she do this before the biggest moment of both of our lives?

Our friendship was thrown away because of a guy that I didn't want to care about anymore. Eventually, I saw them everywhere together. On each other's Snapchat stories, even Instagram. It wasn't fair. I did block both of them out of my life and went to something better, but somehow them together always popped up into my mind or somehow got back to me, and it wasn't fair. She did it all, and it broke me.

It took me a month to get over her. To get over what we had, that friendship was the best thing in my life. It was my first real friendship. The first friendship I believed would last forever. Obviously, we got tattoos together. Why did I think she wouldn't hurt me? Surprisingly, I found who I was without her. I found what I wanted to do because I didn't invest myself and my time into someone who hurt me anymore. It's personally the best thing I've done in my life. I conquered what felt like a break-up.

In the process of everything, I didn't go party, and I didn't go out with other people. Instead, I bettered myself. I worked more, I went to the gym more. Even did more things for myself because surprisingly I had a lot more money when she wasn't around. I did what any typical girl would do and just spoiled myself on things that I honestly didn't need. I don't regret it because it made me feel more confident. When you don't have an absolute beautiful best friend next to you, you feel like you're the most beautiful women out there. Until you go around some other people and realize you're not. It was great, for a while. You have those moments where you just miss them and it's not fair. You have to pick yourself up. It's not easy. But I moved on and got over it and continued to better myself.

To all the girls out there with a best friend, don't hurt them. Don't let that go because it's the best thing that could happen. It's the best feeling to have someone that close to you.

To all the girls that are in my shoes, pick yourself up and get back out there. Find yourself. Find your happiness. You don't know what's out there until you experience it yourself.

Stay happy,

Hannah.