How I Knew You Were the One

Love is never a straight forward thing. It’s filled with broken promises, tear filled nights, insecure moments, and so many fights.

I wish I could say that you can find your knight in shining armor with no effort. He’ll just stroll into your life, and slay all demons and dragons all with perfectly conditioned hair.

But our lives sadly are more represented by Shrek than we thought. We’re the ones who get ourselves out of the tower, because who else can we rely on? We are the ones that have to stand and fight our dragons, no one else is going to slay those things how we want. We do not need anyone.

However, having someone to spend your nights with. Grab late night snacks and watch corny movies with. Go on random adventures, and cry to at the end of a long day? Those things aren’t just easy to let go. Although independence is key to finding who you are, and what you want in a SO, we often mislead ourselves. Don’t we?

I mean, I’m a 20 year old who graduated in grade 11 to escape high school drama, got accepted into college early, am now in law school, and I dated Un-graduated stoners with daddy issues, who had no drive to be anything more than game testers and weed growers. You wouldn’t think that would be my type?

Even I didn’t know my type until I knew who I was and what I wanted.

Then I met you. After being with a child in a mans body, and cheated on whilst he lived in my house and paid for nothing and smoked all day and slept, I realized. Hell no.

That’s the first realization.

Hell. No. That end of the line thought that courses through your brain, and sends fiery hot lava into the rest of your body. Making you realize you deserve more than a dead beat, with literally no future. You deserve a man who’s got his shit together, girlfriend, go for it.

That’s an absolute over exaggeration, I was upset for a few months before he cheated and pretty well emotionally detached from that point.

Long story short I kicked his ass out, found a man who works in camp, and knows he wants a future for himself.

Here’s how I knew it was him.

Being cheated on, lied too, and taken advantage of is never easy. Especially not on the ego. You begin to second guess yourself, your looks, and your own mental stability. Who the f*** deserves that? No one. So I decided it was time I took a hold and grabbed the future I wanted by the nads and said, “I deserve this.”

That’s all it took. I changed my expectations, and standards. The second my gut felt off being around someone I trusted it, and walked the other way.

Then you came along.

Grabbed me by the hand and walked with me as I headed towards a brighter future. Encouraging me, even though you had no idea where I was going. Being a calming presence in such a way that I knew you were there if I needed you. A shadow of confidence and stability. I do not rely on you to stand. As you do not rely on me. We became two trees growing through life, from the roots we planted, soaking up the sh*** we learned and used it to grow. To show one another, we know we deserve the best. We deserve each other. We stand tall together. A force of nature refusing to quit. Swaying as the gale force winds try and blow us apart. Going with it naturally. Growing towards the sun. Only the sky is the limit.

That is how I knew it was you. The sun came out the day I met you. I was unsure at first, but looking into your ocean eyes, I knew you were not going to hurt me. I was no longer afraid. I am a woman, with or without you. Strong and unshifting through life. You do not want to tear me from my roots, and plant me in the shade. You push the branches that are blocking the sunlight out of the way. You nurture my scars. Knowing you very well cannot change the past. However you can teach me to love the battle wounds I gained fighting my way to you.

That is how I knew. It was you.