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It seems the older I get, the more I am determined to not only unravel "Romantic Love,” but to understand why I need it so damn bad. The more I think about it, I start to feel that it really is all about validation. I grew up seeing many a failed, abusive, and dysfunctional relationships, and I'm quite sure this is what is behind me constantly looking to debunk the myth that is dancing around in my psyche: "Love isn't real."
I mean, when you think about it, I'm always telling people (especially strangers who seem to find me therapeutic, therefore, telling me way more than I care to know about their love lives) that you were born alone for a reason. Unless you were a twin, but that is not my point! There is something truly beautiful about figuring your OWN self out.
I realize now that I'm an adventurer—a digger constantly looking for that treasure outside of myself. Then, in those months/years between long-term relationships, I am forced to see myself. My true beauty and self-worth, with my fleshy insides and what makes me ME!
In a relationship, I want to chip away at all the unwanted traits to get to that meat inside, and therefore, receive the treasure. But sometimes, what you are chipping away at may be broke, or rotten even, and you may find that the time and energy was simply a lesson. The lesson was telling you to keep chipping away at yourself until the only thing you see is the treasure inside of you—and your mate, soulmate, or twin flame (or whatever terminology strikes your fancy) will come to you!
I know that in the billions of people on the planet, that in all the distant stars and galaxies, there are no coincidences in this life. No accidents! Only tests for you to fail and pass on the road to unlocking your true path and purpose.
We have to understand this because, see... US women (and some men as well) like to pursue POTENTIAL. This POTENTIAL love is enough to drive you crazy pulling at straws. The way he does this, I can see how one day he can do that, but that day never comes. This is all good and dandy, but this type of wait and see mindset will leave you emotionally bankrupt. The key is to be sure you are witnessing your potential partner doing the things to cause you to build and grow together! DOING the things that manifest a will on a similar path as YOU! Then you got SOMETHING!
So, truly being happy and single is SO important because your potential mate is watching to see if you are happy with yourself. You must do the things to make you shine from the inside out! So, that when it is time, you'll be in the right place and have prepared yourself for the seed to be sewn.
You must be MINDFUL when you ask the universe for your mate. Be conscious of what you need, and in all the dudes floating around attaching themselves to you like molecules, you will find that you are in the right situation and circumstance to meet him or her.
So, take this time and prepare! Take care of you mind, take care of your heart, and most certainly get your health in order! You don’t want to arrive at your destination empty-handed—when you could have had it ALL to offer. Everyone has valuable skills and traits to add to this stewing pot of love. You have to apply yourself to see long-lasting results, and a never-ending love.