How to Begin Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

As a person with a very empathic soul, I've found myself in a couple very life shattering narcissistic abusive relationships. I had to relocate a few times over and find myself all over again. It's been a very eye opening process, but I'm here to tell you your life is not over, and you too can heal and live your life without this person that has manipulated you into believing it is.

Narcissists are grand manipulators right from the beginning of the relationship. I see them as wearing a mask for the role they intend to play for their game they create with you. They try to learn everything about you during the "love bombing" stage. You must learn these signs and tactics to know if you are being manipulated by a narcissist.

You are in control and can break things off right away. If you feel uncomfortable with showering of gifts on say the second date, there's a good sign they are a narcissist. Grandiose gifting is a tall tale sign of love bombing. Don't fall for the prince charming front they give off—it's all a mask to a much deeper dark game that will begin.

If you walked away in this first stage, congrats! You have a lot of knowledge in narcissism and I hope you inform your friends on this topic so they can walk away at this first stage also, as its much less damaging. But for some of us we wanted to believe they were the prince sweeping us off our feet, so we were showered with gifts in exchange for our deepest innermost secrets about ourselves.

After the "love bombing" was a pretty typical laid back normalcy moment in the relationship. Only then they will begin to start picking you apart after getting bored with playing normal bf/gf. Everything from your weight, to how you dress, your makeup, your lifestyle, who you hang out with, your family, your music tastes, it can be anything...anything they want to change to make you who they want, they will try and mold you.

You will do it, as they bring back "love bombing" tactics when you change something they asked. This is the "devalue" stage! They will keep on with this until you are literally killing yourself for them, and you look in the mirror and you cannot even recognize yourself anymore. You keep going though because you believe you are doing it for love, but to them you are merely a toy, a game, a replaceable fun project.

Then the most heart shattering last stage, the main point of writing this... "DISCARD." As a loving empath, I wanted to please my narcissistic partner. I almost died working so hard on my body to be his perfect version trophy girlfriend. The discard for me felt like I couldn't live life without him and even contemplated suicide.

For women like myself that have been dropped like a bag of garbage after being severely manipulated into believing we were this person's love of their life, there is healing and hope after this, believe that!

First things first, speak out!! Never let it get this far to discard. Discard stage is the most painful and hardest to heal from and some also have PTSD after this traumatic event. Secondly, I would suggest a therapist. Speaking to a therapist about the trauma is very empowering and is a good start to healing also. Third, this is a tough one but it's going to help the healing process: forgiving your abuser. Forgive them for all the trauma they put you through.

See them as a person with (NPD) Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and they need help. Forgiveness will release you from being the victim, and let you move on from the past trauma and you can move forward to your future. This may have to be a daily task you do, but it's for the good for you so you do not relive what happened over and over.

Fourth, write a daily journal. Write your thoughts and plans for future. Try to keep it inspirational and positive. Fifth, mediate—mediation has helped me find myself again after the trauma. It's a great start for working on being the most beautiful, caring, loving person you know you are before all the trauma came into your life.

Bettering yourself and healing is going to look amazing on you soon. Your future self is going to be so proud! Because in the end of all this we will only have ourselves, and you will have to stand strong in the mirror and tell yourself thank-you!

I hope this will help someone out there. Please also know you're not alone, and you are strong.