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If there's one classic move that guys do at bars, it's buying a girl they're interested a drink as a way to break the ice. It used to be a good way to show that you're a gentleman, and that you want to get to know the woman in question better.
Unfortunately, due to the bad behavior of a handful of men, this once-sweet gesture has become one that's increasingly stigmatized in modern society. Nowadays, because of a lot of guys who have pitched fits over not sleeping with a girl after buying them a drink, buying a girl a drink has become an act assumed to come with strings attached.
The thing is that most girls do want to have guys offer them a drink once in a while - and it can be a spectacular ice breaker. In order to make it work the right way, it has to be done with some form of tact and decorum. Here's how to buy a girl a drink without making it awkward, coming off as a creep, a douche, or a weirdo.
First, choose the right girl.
Not all girls will be open to being offered a drink. If you notice that the girl's answers are short, that she's displaying closed off body language, or if she's clearly busy with something else, she probably doesn't want to be bothered with a drink.
In terms of green lights, if you notice that she's smiling at you, actively engaging you in conversation, or straight up flirting with you, she probably will be okay with it. If she's bought you a drink, it's only fair to return the gesture in kind.
Obviously, if you are on a date, it's probably a good idea to offer to buy her a drink.
If you can't figure out if it's a good idea, check with the bartender.
There are few things as awkward as not knowing whether or not a girl at a bar is taken. Your best chance at finding out the scoop is to ask the bartender if she's there with someone. More often than not, they can figure things out for you.
It's usually not a wise idea to buy a girl a drink without having made light eye contact and exchanging smiles beforehand. So, while you're busy finding out that information, flash her a smile and see if she meets eye contact with you.
The easiest route to choose is to strike up a conversation with the girl in question, then order her a drink.
This is the most surefire way to buy a girl a drink without making it awkward. Make the drink ordering seem as organic and laid back as possible. After all, you're already talking, and she will already know your name by the time you offer her a drink. The best way to do this is to sit next to her and just comment on something funny, interesting, or weird.
If she seems disinterested in conversation, you have probably saved yourself some money.
If you're more daring, then tell the bartender that you intend on ordering a drink for the girl across the bar from you.
Most bartenders will "bro up" with you to make this happen, so at the very least, you got that going for you. Let the girl decide what drink she wants to order.
Now, in order to do this right, you need to make eye contact with her and smile - but don't stare. Let her drink up, and then when she's enjoying whatever you bought her, go up and introduce yourself to her. Confidence is key.
If she refuses to talk to you, or rejects the drink, don't pout or get angry at her.
Girls are allowed to reject you. Buying a girl a drink doesn't mean that she's obligated to have sex with you. At the very least, if she rejects the drink order, you've saved money and you don't end up talking to a girl who doesn't want to talk to you. If she just drinks it and leaves, then you also didn't lose much money. Drinks are cheap, after all.
The number one thing you don't want to do is to try to push the drink on her regardless of whether she wants it or not. If you do this, you will likely end up getting called a creep - and it could also get you ejected from the bar.
Here's the thing that many people need to understand when buying a girl a drink - it's really not that big a deal. It's a way to scope people out, and learn more about them. Once you realize what buying a girl a drink is all about, it becomes a lot more reasonable and understandable.