How to Catch a Cheater

Someone Else.

It’s the worst feeling, that knowing, gnawing pull in your chest. You know what it is before it hits you, but when it comes, it's worse than anything you’ve ever felt. I’m not saying that this list of things will save you any heartbreak, but once we have that feeling, we can’t let it go. So, here’s a few tells...

Role Play: "If I Cheated on You"

Couples play around, making jokes about their other s/o’s with crazy names who support their wild ideas (Stacy would go skydiving with me! - cue the knowing laughter). But if your s/o is constantly asking that question “what if…” “what would you do if…” with very little smiling and an awkward response to whatever answer you gave, it’s most likely because they’re hiding something.

Accusations

A person’s greatest tell is usually what they lash out about. If your s/o is constantly accusing you of being unfaithful, untrustworthy and the like, it’s most likely because they are unfaithful, untrustworthy and the like. People reveal their deepest secrets within their darkest fears. They’re terrified of someone in their life being just as bad as they are.

Jumpy

If they react aggressively to simple things, like basic jokes or spontaneous movements, they’re probably hiding something. Dishonest people are meticulous, and they like being prepared. So, if need be, they can lie to cover up their mess on the spot. They hate surprises, unknown things, spur-of-the-moment decisions. It’s all guessing to them, and when you’re doing a lot to cover up a lie, guessing is the worst thing you could do.

Easily Angered

Every couple has their usual annoyances, things they cannot stand about one another, but they put up with it for the sake of the heart. You never say anything when they do that one little thing, that tick that drives you insane, you ignore these things because it's not worth the fight. A cheating partner will comment on all of these things. Underneath their unnecessary anger, they’re trying to justify their infidelity. “It’s okay that I’m cheating because you’re wrong in these ways…” All of sudden, everything you do is wrong, with no explanation as to why.

White Lies

A cheating partner lies about everything, down to what they may have eaten that day. Liars are paranoid, they think that one slip, one truth, can bring the mess they built tumbling down. So they lie about the most insignificant things, believing that that small detail will save them. If you start to catch your s/o in multiple lies about ridiculous things, it’s possible that their hiding something pretty big, like someone else.

Disinterest

If they all of a sudden stop caring to respond to your messages or show up on time. Or if they start to distance themselves from the relationship, it could be because they’re putting all of that energy into a connection with someone else. Uncaring partners almost always leave to unfaithful partners. If their attention wanders, their love wanders.

Gut Feeling

Sometimes you just know, it’s in the way they kiss you or cut their lies when they think you’re not looking. It’s in the pit of your stomach or the back of your brain. Gut feelings are never based on impulse, they sit there, waiting to be recognized. It’s the truth that some of us are too scared to see.

I’m not saying that if a boyfriend/girlfriend does any of the above, that they are hands down seeing someone else behind your back. But most of the time, people that engage in one or more of the activities listed above, it’s more than likely because they’re hiding something. All I can say is good luck, and tread carefully, you don’t want to be the next one down for the count.

I used “most likely, ”“more than likely,” “almost always,” etc. because all of these things could just be signs of a bad relationship, not necessarily cheating.