It happens to all or at least most of us once. Maybe more often, but each time it hurts regardless, especially deeply committed relationships that are long term, sometimes with kids. Even short term flings or affairs can bite if we think of them as special. Rejection is very unpleasant, but there are ways to cope and plan for better times ahead.
Keeping Busy
This is a definite advantage to keeping your mind off them. Working more hours, if it's an option, may seem uneventful, but useful. Learn something new at work. Enroll in a course. It might get you a promotion. This actually worked for me years ago, following a three year relationship. Six months later, I was offered a raise and a better position within the same company.
Another way to stay busy: get fit. Go to the gym, take yoga classes or swim. Cycling is my personal favourite. It's a healthy form of escapism and good for your health. You might meet new people and form new friendships in aerobics class. Setting new goals for yourself is a great distraction and rewarding in the end.
Socializing, going out with friends, and having a close friend to confide in is invaluable, but be careful and avoid drama. The best thing your friends can do: listen and support you. They should be there to take you out for a night on the town or a good movie. A few drinks is good too, but avoid getting inebriated. This will only lead to drunk texting later, or rebound relationships. Many of us, including me, have made this mistake. The horror of reading those drunk texts you sent the night before... just don't. Save yourself the grief.
Keeping a Journal
Maybe your ex is a complete asshole. Write him or her a letter, but don't send it... just keep it. Read it. Make sure it speaks your feelings. It is therapeutic because writing your thoughts and emotions leads to coping with them. Cry, yell, punch your pillows, but not your ex. That could lead to court appearances. If your ex is stalking you or otherwise causing you pain, do whatever you can (legally) to avoid them and stay away. This varies for everyone. Write about it, though. Get it off your chest. You'll sleep better.
Vacation
Take a trip somewhere. This could be a month overseas, a week across country, a weekend away, or a day trip. If your budget is tight, day trips are excellent. Change your scenery, take pictures, and try new food or a new restaurant. Shopping is retail therapy, but costly if you overdo it. Stick with budget travel or day excursions.
Try the countryside or somewhere calm, serene. On a beach, by a lake or river. If you live in a big city, you may know of some hidden gems in a park or by the water. Stay at a nice hotel, even locally. Try camping, hiking, or anything that immerses you into the positive.
Makeover
A personal favourite. Have fun with this one! You can go to a salon, or go completely DIY with this, the choice is yours. Imagine your ex loved your hair long and blond, but you secretly wanted to try something new... a new cut and/or colour. Well, a breakup means freedom, especially from a controlling ex. It also feels like revenge, and that in itself is satisfying. Try the daring side shave or pixie style. Get a new piercing or tattoo. Buy a new outfit. The whole process will feel refreshing and uplifting. Freeing, too.
Redecorate where you live.
You might be in cramped corners or have your own place, but either way, make it comfortable. It is your place to relax, away from stress. Drop essential oils on your pillow, like lavender or jasmin. Get rid of clutter or minimize it. Make as much space as you can to reduce stress. Acquire some new books. Start a collection or new hobby. If you are handy, build a new piece of furniture or another project. It's all about keeping busy...
Overall, stay positive and expect that you will feel all kinds of emotions, from anger to sadness and loneliness. Depending on the severity of the relationship, you may feel relief. Enjoy some solitude too and read a good book. It helps focus your mind on something much more worthy of your time.
One more thing: avoid relationships, at least for six months. Get acquainted with you, your life and goals. If someone truly appreciates you, they will accept you as you are. It is worth the wait!
About the Creator
Vicki C
I began writing erotic fantasy short stories in 2011, which feature BDSM and fetishes. When I'm not writing, I work a regular job, enjoy cycling, travelling, rock concerts and reading.
Hidden Happiness
The world in which we live, is constantly changing, and this applies even more so in these days in which we live. With the implementation of AI into the workplace, people are beginning to fear for their jobs. With the rumors of wars circulating across the globe people are falling into fearful states, that are spurred on by changes, the likes of which we have never in human history, experienced before.
By Kaylon Forsyth6 days ago in Humans
"Shores of Peacefulness: A Day of Rapture at the Ocean side"
The sun rose into the great beyond, projecting a brilliant gleam across the serene waters of the sea. Seagulls took off above, their cries reverberating through the pungent air as the delicate beat of the waves lapped against the sandy shore. It was an ideal day at the ocean side, and for Emily and her family, it guaranteed vast experiences and loved recollections. As they showed up at the ocean side, Emily's heart expanded with energy. She could scarcely hold on to feel the warm sand between her toes and the cool sea breeze all over. With a screech of pleasure, she ran towards the water, her giggling dragging along her like a strip in the breeze. The ocean side was buzzing with movement, as families and companions accumulated to partake in the daylight and the ocean. Youngsters constructed transcending sandcastles, their minds roaming free as they etched turrets and channels with their small hands. Couples walked connected at the hip along the coastline, lost in murmured discussions and sneaked kisses. Also, surfers rode the peaking waves, their chuckling blending with the thunder of the sea. For Emily, the ocean side was a jungle gym of vast potential outcomes. She went through the early daytime sprinkling in the waves, feeling the pungent shower on her skin as she moved in the midst of the surf. She gathered shells along the shore, wondering about their mind boggling shapes and lively varieties. Furthermore, she covered her feet in the warm sand, feeling the earth underneath her toes as she delighted in the basic delight of being alive. In any case, the genuine wizardry of the ocean side woke up in the early evening, as the sun plunged low overhead and the world was washed in a delicate, brilliant light. Emily's family assembled around a popping huge fire, their countenances enlightened by the gleaming flares as they simmered marshmallows and shared stories underneath the stars. As the fire snapped and popped, Emily felt a feeling of harmony wash over her — a sensation of having a place and happiness that she knew must be found at the ocean side. Here, in the midst of the excellence of nature and the glow of friends and family, she felt really alive, her heart spilling over with appreciation for the basic joys of life. As the night wore on and the stars sparkled above, Emily and her family clustered together, enveloped by covers and loaded up with the glow of the fire. They giggled and sang, their voices ascending into the night sky like a chorale of heavenly messengers as they praised the magnificence of the ocean side and the delight of being together. Also, as the fire consumed low and the last coals blurred into the haziness, Emily realize that she would convey the sorcery of this day with her until the end of time. For in the core of the ocean side, in the midst of the sand and the ocean and the stars, she had tracked down a piece of herself — a piece that would continuously have a place with the sea, and to the vast undertakings that looked for her on its shores. As the night extended, the ocean side took on an otherworldly quality, the twilight moving on the waves like a gleaming cover of silver. Emily and her family waited by the fire, sharing stories and chuckling long into the evening. The delicate sound of the sea filled in as a mitigating setting to their discussions, its musical rhythm calming them into a condition of quiet happiness. As they at long last advanced back to their ocean side house, Emily felt a feeling of significant appreciation wash over her. The day at the ocean side had been all that she had expected and the sky is the limit from there — a day loaded up with giggling, love, and remarkable minutes imparted to individuals she treasured most. As she floated off to rest that evening, the waves reverberating in her ears, Emily realize that she would convey the memory of this day with her generally. For in the excellence of the ocean side and the glow of her family's affection, she had found where her heart could really find a sense of contentment — where each second was loaded up with wizardry, and consistently was a gift to be enjoyed.
By Nameless writer4 days ago in Humans
The Business of Nature
Dew drops reflected the light of the sun. The inhabitants of Whispering Woods woke up to the golden droplets of water on the leaves of the flora. The oaks particularly enjoyed the light and the maples did, too. Happiness enveloped all who lived there, even the rocks that cried out in the night delighted in the morning.
By Skyler Saundersa day ago in Fiction
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