How to Deal with Cheating

It's a painful process and everyone goes through it differently.

Cry. Scream. Do whatever to cope. 

Having been in multiple relationships, (tqo — it still counts) as per is the norm for a young man, I know both how lovely and stressful relationships can be. Yet the logic is that if the person is worth working for, then you work to make things work, right? Yet, you're not reading this because you're trying to make things work. Odds are you couldn't make things work, or your significant other took a flamethrower to things and burnt up anything that could be salvaged by cheating. My condolences. Now, let's talk about how you can get on the road to feeling better.

First, accept that it isn't your fault.

No matter how you play it out in your head or go over both of your screw ups and theirs, it isn't your fault that you were cheated on. It's a sad truth, but not all relationships are perfect. Some relationships just don't work no matter how much effort you put into it or how little you put into it, things are bound to go wrong either by your wrongdoings or theirs. But, and this is a very important but, nothing excuses cheating. When it comes down to it, even if you really are the villain you make yourself out to be, nothing is stopping the other person from just dumping you, unless you're an abusive psychopath. In this case, stop reading this and go into the sewers to be Pennywise's roommate. Nothing excuses cheating. Nothing.

Second, get angry. Or cry, whichever works for you.

This may seem obvious, but it's very important to let whatever is going through your head out. The depression or frustration that you may feel will eat you up unless you get it out. I don't care how you cope. With sad movies and ice cream, or an angry yelling bout with the night sky while running, you need to cope in any way you can. 

Third, don't date for a while.

Third, don't date for a while. After I was cheated on, it took me a year to recover from it and as embarrassing as that is, it's more embarrassing that I flirted with many women after three months. Some of you who read this will think or have felt that you're totally okay after a break up if it's been like three months. Not me. I was still crying and feeling like, for polite reasons, a cow's mossy excrement. Don't date for a while, not until you're absolutely sure you're healed and ready. It's a definite bad idea to search for a relationship when your heart hasn't pumped out the blood to build a scab on the figurative wound.

Fourth, and finally, let your friends help in any way they can.

Fourth, and finally, let your friends help in any way they can. Good friends will ask if you're okay. Great friends will drag you out and tell you to distract yourself. Either with dates, hanging out, or whatever, your friends will sometimes be the best medicine a broken heart can ask for. Like I said, don't date if you're not ready. Politely turn down any blind date and ask if you can just talk or something. Do whatever with your friends to heal. 

And that's it. I hope someone reads this and found even a small amount of help through it. I'm not exactly a relationship guru, that much is obvious, but this is how I healed and it's also how I screwed up in some cases. But that's how we humans improve, right? We tell each other of our mistakes so we can do better. And being cheated on is possibly one of the biggest mistakes in relationships. You can never know who's going to hurt you in a system that's based on trust and affection. So please, don't blame yourself for being with a cheating Chad, or a Backstabbing Betty. You can only heal. So... heal.

Jacob Harold
Jacob Harold

I'm a gamer and a poet who's got anger issues, sadness, and anxiety. To put it simply, I'm a volatile cocktail of a person. But stick around, I swear you'll think I'm an okay guy. profile pic downloaded from sound-dream on Tumblr.

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