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How to Deal with Rejection

Self love is the key!

One of the hardest parts about being single and putting yourself out there and dating is dealing with rejection. But let’s be real, this is all part of the process. After all, you can’t possibly be a match for everyone you go out with! 

Rejecting and/or being rejected is definitely a necessary evil in order to find the right person to spend your life with. I must also remind you how important this decision is. Who you choose as your mate accounts for 90 percent of your happiness or misery. 

That said, it still doesn’t make being rejected any easier to deal with. So here’s some of the advice I give my clients:

For Women:

  1. Hold off on intimacy. If you know that you’re the type of woman that gets too easily attached to a man after becoming intimate, then hold off on that for as long as you can. Make sure the man you’re seeing earns it by connecting with you emotionally first. In order for a man to fall in love, he must feel an emotional connection to you before you two hop into bed. Don't make the mistake of sleeping with him too soon. Women fall in love through sex but men do not. Focus on building a genuine friendship with him before you get naked. You’ll save yourself some gut-wrenching heartache if he’s not the one for you.

  2. Take a break. After a particularly brutal rejection, you don’t want to rush back into the dating scene. Never go out on any dates when your self esteem is low! You're going to want to spend some time alone and do things that increase your self-esteem and confidence. Start a workout routine or hang out with girlfriends that make you feel good about yourself. 

    But keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong with you. The two of you were simply not a good match. Just because he doesn't want to date you doesn't mean that some other great guy won't either. Don't let one rejection completely shatter your self-worth and never start thinking that you're unlovable. It just one guy that failed to see your worth! Don't ever tear yourself down because one particular guy didn't see you as a match for him. You’re going to want to spend some time alone and heal. Pamper yourself.

  3. Love yourself more. I know I keep repeating myself, but self-love is the core of every healthy relationship! Ask yourself this: Why would you want to be with a man that doesn’t want to be with you? You shouldn’t!! If he’s not The One, then some other lucky guy is…

Cultivate more self-love by doing things that make you feel good! Exercise, eat healthy, get your beauty rest, and drink plenty of water. Take a dance class or read a good book. Anything that you do to improve yourself will help you fall in love with yourself even more. And remember that if you love your own company, you will never be lonely!

For Men:

  1. It’s cosmic redirecting. What if being rejected is just the universe’s way of redirecting you to something better? Sometimes getting dumped can be the best thing that has ever happened to you. It might have saved you from an even bigger heartbreak in the end. I promise you there’s a woman out there that is a better match for you that is searching for you right now...

  2. Share your feelings. It’s a known fact that men have a much higher suicide rate than women do. I guess it’s because men have been conditioned to “be a man” and hide their feelings whereas women regularly share other feelings with other women. Don’t cry, man up—is what boys have been taught. But psychology has shown that this is the worst thing you could do. Find a guy friend you can confide in or talk to a therapist. You need to let it out and grieve before you can let it go.

Get a dog!

I realize this one sounds a bit quirky, but I’ve never been one to give conventional advice. While this may not work for everyone (i.e. allergies, high vet bills) it has been scientifically proven that owning a pet can lower depression and anxiety. Truly, there’s nothing like coming home from work to unconditional love every single day. So head over to your local shelter and adopt a cutie. As an added bonus, dogs are complete chick magnets! Just take a stroll down the street with Scruffy and see how many cute girls you meet that are dying to pet him. You’re welcome.

To hire me as your dating coach, email me here!

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