How to Fix a Broken Heart

We’ve all been there, or at least one day we will be. A heartbreak can be spotted anywhere. From middle school to national television, heartbreaks are everywhere. The problem is that sometimes we have a hard time figuring out how to mend our broken hearts. It’s common for humans to think that we will never love again or after the break up, we don’t want to love again. But in all honesty, it takes time. To get over a heartbreak, you must accept the pain, distract yourself, and find hope for the future.

Accepting pain is one of the hardest obstacles we face in our lives. It doesn’t matter if it’s physical, mental, or emotional we all experience pain. The hardest part of a break up is accepting that it happened for a reason. Teenagers nowadays, broadcast their relationship status all over social media. They post pictures of their partner and when they break up the pictures are replaced with sappy quotes. I think everything happens for a reason and heartbreaks are inevitable. No matter how “cold hearted” a person can be, they can still have their heart broken. I’ve learned that you can’t help who you fall in love with and you can’t prevent that person from leaving. It seems nearly impossible but if you don’t learn to accept it; it will begin to control you. For me, it took a long time to accept why I had been left. I thought if I changed myself or did exactly what he wanted he would come back. I was wrong. I was simply in denial. Everyone accepts pain at some point. I recommend distancing yourself from that person because if you aren’t talking to them all the time or keeping up with social media, you stop thinking about the relationship. Eventually you will reflect on the relationship and start to see flaws and why everything escalated and ended the way it did. No matter how bad the pain is, it’s not worth making yourself and the other person miserable. Besides, one day you will find someone that wouldn’t dream of hurting you and you’ll thank God that it never worked out with anyone else.

After you’ve accepted pain, you will want to distract yourself. Girls typically sit alone and cry while eating their favorite ice cream. Or if you’re like me, you’ll cry into your chicken tenders in a restaurant. But in seriousness, crying is unavoidable. But when you’re sick of crying into your pillow or various foods you’ll need a distraction. During the day I suggest focusing on school or work and if it’s a weekend go out with your friends. I was lucky enough to have very supportive friends and they suggested we take a day trip to an amusement park. Now, that is a bit extreme but there are other alternatives. I would suggest window shopping or going to the movies. Then you might need a hobby for when your friends are busy. I spent most of my days on the internet obsessing over Harry Styles, a famous actor/musician. It sounds crazy but it totally worked. I somehow managed to entertain myself for hours upon hours with his movies, songs, and interviews. I drove my dad completely insane but at least I wasn’t crying or feeling sorry for myself. I also spent a lot of time with my family. I’m very close with my aunts and cousins and I would go over to one of their houses and talk and eat dinner. If you are fortunate enough to have little kids in your life, they are great distractions. You don’t know how many hours you can spend playing trains with a 3-year-old. Another great distraction is working out. I personally am very uncoordinated and would easily injure myself; but some people run out their frustrations and focus on not dying instead of their previous relationship.

The last important step of getting over heartbreak is hope. It sounds cliché and it definitely isn’t what you want to hear but having hope for the future is a great advantage. If you sit there in the darkness of your room you’ll never see all the things that could be. The saying “one door closes so another one can open” also applies to this situation. I’ve seen people shut themselves off from the people around them. You can’t find happiness if you just dwell on the past. If you surround yourself with positivity you are more likely to find more opportunities. For me, I am able to learn things I wasn’t interested in months ago. I am also trying to overcome my fears. I found hope through my friends and family. My best friend Hazel and I are closer than we’ve ever been and she’s helping me become more comfortable being myself in public. If I still laid on my bed crying with my dad standing over me panicking about what he should do, I would never go on midnight adventures that led to amazing memories. There are a lot of things that can give you hope. Listening to music seems to help a lot of people. We all know Taylor Swift has been through heartbreak and most teenage girls can relate to at least one of her songs. She is an example of a role model who after countless relationships still has hope that one day she’ll find someone made for her. Hope is something you, yourself must find. It comes in many forms and sometimes it will find you before you find it.

In the end, recovery from a heartbreak takes time. But to get over heartbreak you must learn to accept the pain, distract yourself, and find hope for the future. It will not be easy but know you aren’t the only one in that situation. Many people all over the place have been in your shoes. I received some great advice from a family member that changed my perspective on heartbreak. “To really live is to really die. Being hurt is not the worst thing that will ever happen to us, but not to have loved is far worse.”